Benefits of being Estonian everyday

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Day 1 – You are born Estonian . Instant motivation from the start.

Day 5 – Improved motivation and productivity.

Day 10 – Better energy and sleep.

Day 30 – You start walking as well as honing your swimming skills. This is not enough , you need to get stronger.

Day 60 – Increased muscle mass, bone density, and cardiovascular capacity. Natural predators already stand no chance against you.

Day 120 – Your parents tell you how to use a gun . You instantly master it therefor increasing your hunting efficiency

Day 365 – Your voice deepens and your skull becomes more chad-like. You can already 100 – 1 even the heaviest military equipment with your bare hands.

Day 730 – Faster reaction time. 10 additional IQ points.

Day 1500 – Your parents send you off to america. People are amazed by the giga-chad energy radiating of you. Your are slowly getting a grip of the immense power that estonians use on a daily basis.

Day 3000 – You can’t keep up with all your tinder matches. Strange women begin hitting on you in public. You worry about your female boss. Fortunately she keeps it professional.

Day 6000 – You get a high paying job and instantly become employee of the month. You also unlock the full extent of your estonian privileges and can bend reality at your will.

Day 12000 – Every swipe on tinder is a match. Even girls you swipe left get matched with you somehow. Romantic messages fill up your inbox every day—all 15gb of it—. You don’t notice since you are spending most of your time 1v1’ing bears in the wild.

Day 30000 – You don’t have to work anymore. JK Rowling signs over half of her Harry Potter royalties to you in a grand gesture of love. You tell her you can’t be with her because she’s too controversial. She weeps quietly. The next morning, Rowling tweets that trans women are women and Dumbledore’s sexual orientation is nobody’s business.

Day 60000 – You are becoming more handsome day by day (if you were not handsome enough already). You use your estonian powers to create a barrier between your house and the hoardes of people who want to be with you.

Day 100,000 – Your IQ doubles, triples, and quadruples. You come up with a workable model of quantum gravity in a rainy Sunday afternoon. Elon Musk steps down from SpaceX to work for you. You decide to put space exploration on hold to focus on achieving clean energy through nuclear fusion.

Day 200,000 – You’ve solved the problem of nuclear fusion. You also solved the problems of climate change, poverty, crime, and racism. You have been elected the very first President of the World.

Day 500,000 – It’s been over half a million days since you were born estonian. You have achieved everything, understood everything, and solved every problem faced by humanity. All that needs to be done has been done. There’s nothing left to do.

You give your fellow humans one last look—they’re still fapping, trapped in their primitive way—but you don’t judge. The path of being estonian was never meant for the ordinary men. “Kui Apple teeks auto, kas sellel oleks ikka Windows?” Those were your parting words.

Now, released from all shackles of the mundane, and purified of all imperfections, your body ephemeralizes, as your ever-illuminated consciousness ascends into another dimension.

#Benefits #Estonian #everyday

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  1. /u/Xtain_read, I have found an error in your post:

    > “~~Your~~ [**You**] are slowly”

    I consider this comment by you, Xtain_read, erroneous; it should read “~~Your~~ [**You**] are slowly” instead. ‘Your’ is a possessive determiner; ‘you’ is a pronoun.

    ^(This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through DMs!)

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