Black people??? In MY TV show???

I pack my gums with cheeto dust and gurgle happily. Today is a good day. Today is a GREAT day. Today is a Rings of Power day. I wiggle more firmly into my couch, ignoring the grease, soda, and food stains that have accumulated on it since I bought it last month.

I click play.

Oh what splendor! What colors and sounds! Truly, Amazon is the savior of the fandom. I lean back and let the cheeto dust do its work. Oh look, a new character. Arondir! Kind of strange they introduced him standing in shadows, but whatever.

There he is again. Arondir. How is he STILL in shadows? Shoddy directing.

Oh no. Oh nononononononono. A creeping realization sets in. Arondir again. Shadows. Arondir again. Shadows. What if…. he isn’t in shadows…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Black people??? In MY TV show??? I collapse onto the ground, pulling at my hair and beating my chest in anguish.

Don’t they understand ANYTHING? People didn’t move around enough in Middle Earth for diversity to exist… and elves are called white in the books… and elves are associated with the moon, which is white… and elves had only existed for a few generations at this point and wouldn’t have developed dark skin… and Tolkien only called Sam “brown” because he was outside in the sun all day working… and there are RULES in this fantasy world that was made decades ago…

I start hyperventilating. Rocking back and forth, all I can think over and over is “I wish it need not have happened in my time.”

But wait. I can fix this. I drag my grief-stricken body to my computer. If I can tell the people, if I can tell the WORLD, maybe we can rise up and get this show cancelled. Like the Riders of Rohan in the Battle of Helm’s Deep, I charge into action. And I start typing…


Leave a Comment