British food

You don’t need to watch this video, there is literally not one thing in there that you should try before you die. There might be a few you would want to feed your enemies with before they depart though.

UK Cuisine is a world class atrocity and that’s just a scientifically proven fact, sorry.
It doesn’t even mean that everything taste terrible, there are obviously some edible things there because the british has this weird kink of putting two most generic and proven to be good things on one plate and calling it their own dish. Like Fish and Chips (LITERALLY A BATTERED FISH SEASONED WITH WELL SALT AND FREAKIN CHIPS it’s not like there is any special type of batter either), Bangers and Mash (AGAIN A STORE BOUGHT SAUSAGE AND MASHED POTATO), liver and onion (you guessed it), Egg and Chips – Imagine people who have the audacity to say that’s their national dish… and it’s getting even worse THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO INVENTED… I’ll say it again – INVENTED… a sandwich – Not any particular type of sandwich… just THE SANDWICH, like TWO PIECES OF BREAD STACKED TOGETHER… (And they have some of the most horrible tasting bread you can find in the whole wide world… which is true to not only store bought cxxp but bakery bought expensive one too.) That obviously open doors to claiming multiple ridiculous things as part of the british cuisine, one of them being a bacon sandwich, bacon between two slices of bread – that’s it… or cucumber sandwich, corned beef sandwich, or even toasted bread sandwich which is apparently some old recipe from traditional english cookbook consisting of a buttered toast between to slices of regular bread. Or beans on toast (which is just one slice of bread with beans out of a can on it) They also eat their chips, not with ketchup or mayo or some other nice tasting sauce like a normal person but with PEAS. Putting chips in pea mash…. You also get things like English breakfast (you put like 3 to 6 different store bought products, either from the can, or frozen and fry few eggs, the end.) Then there is Toad in the hole (you simply throw some store bought disgusting english sausages in batter and bake it, it’s literally like somebody was to lazy to make a sausage roll, which tbh isn’t the fanciest dish either, so he just baked multiple sausages in whole tray of batter)
And when they’re not just putting two things on a plate together or stuff it between two slices of bread, they just put it in a pie.

The only one dish that can be considered restaurant worthy is Beef Wellington, (but a regular english person can’t make it) which is They do have some ok bakerie, nothing exceptional but you need to leave them that, and haggis is not bad if it’s not from a can.

Everything else is something only a person completely wasted at 3am would come up with, or a 5 years old (But I definitely ate better at that age)

I can’t imagine how these people family parties looks like, when all of them try to keep straight face, and compliment the food – being served a sandwich with nothing but cucumber or a sausage roll bought from tesco with some Heinz baked beans on the side

#British #food

What do you think?

Leave a Reply