the real answer is actually elementary.
Magnus cheats. He’s always had anal beads up his butt, maybe for the past 10 years. That’s how he’s been dominating the entire field of players. There was a slight dip during the time he played Carauna because he was so drunk he couldn’t feel the vibrations well and ended up losing a game. His team decided to turn up the vibrations to max and thats how Magnus survived the encounter.
Recently Magnus realised the anal bead supercomputer design he created had been stole. Of course he couldn’t come clean about cheating. So he drummed up the excuse of being bored so he wouldn’t lose the World championship to Nepo. who he suspects to have stolen the anal bead design after being humiliated in their prior contest. Magnus’ suspicions were further evidenced by Nepo’s performance during the Candidates. As __/u/GothamChess__ said, However, success is addictive. and Magnus decided to aim for 2900 before retiring for good.
Little did he know the real thief was the cocky super villain Hans. Hans employed the anal bead tactic against Magnus. Being new to the device. However, Hans didn’t know that the signals sent from his beads interfered with Magnus’ device. Magnus feels unprompted vibrations on his prostate and realises Hans stole his poopchute Stockfish but couldn’t use his own to retaliate lest Hans knew he was the true inventor of the device. That’s why Magnus was uncharacteristically prone to inaccurate proceeded to lose the game.
Afterwards, Magnus withdrew from the tournament,. but not before putting out a vague tweet. While everyone interpreted it as Hans cheating, in reality, Magnus was also cheating but can’t release definite proof since he’d also be in “big trouble”
edit: I type this in the shower, then proceeded to pass out. Thanks for the gold 🙂
#Chess #anal #bead #cheater