Does anybody know how to clean blood and shit out of a skirt?

Hello Reddit, due to an (entirely heterosexual) encounter with a dildo and a skirt, I have shit myself and cannot get it out of the carpet and the skirt.

Basically, I bought a 15-inch red silicone t rex bad dragon dildo (for one of my many girlfriends not me I’m not gay) but when I was taking it out I fell over wierdly and it slid all 15 inches deep into my ass while wearing thigh highs and a skirt while jerking off with a gag in my mouth. But it went too deep and it made me have sudden explosive diarrhoea, and I guess the dildo must have punctured something cause there was a lot of blood in it, and then I got shocked so I pissed myself right as I came (accidentally), so now there’s piss shit blood and cum in the carpet and all over the thigh highs and the skirt and stuff and my parents are coming around tomorrow and I can’t get it out and there’s so much shit everywhere and my apartment has this vomit-inducing smell like someone died help what do I do?


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