Donald Trump is the sexiest fucking president and I’m tired of pretending he’s not

I seriously don’t understand how anyone can’t understand this. Have you not seen his voluptous ass? Have you seen that sexy fucking toupee he wears? Have you not seen his erectfying orange skin? His ass must be so orange you could get vitamin C from eating it out. His ass could probably cure scurvy.

Anyways so today I decided to go to one of those right-wing conventions. I thought for sure it was gonna be a group masturbation session, but apparently not. I got there and took out my sexy Donald Trump pic collection. It was just pretty basic stuff like butt pics and crotch shots. The most mild shit and I asked if anybody wanted to share some Donald Trump photos before we began and they fucking looked at me like I was crazy!

I was like fine if you guys don’t appreciate my kindness then I will. So I helped myself to the photos and started my standard 12pm masturbation session. This all happened pretty quick, but I’ll try to explain it the best I can. I busted pretty quick like usual (.2 seconds), but I mean it’s Donald Trump cam you blame me? I wasn’t done though, my cock was still throbbing hard so I did what any sane person would do. I jerked it again, busted quick again, but I was still hard so I jerked it again and so on and so forth. This cycle is completely normal to me and it usually last about 10mins. Also I start slow and slowly speed up so basically my penis turns into a cum assault rifle. Thing is that I thought this was normal for everyone (spoiler alert: apparently it’s not).

I made sure to mark my cum zone in advance with tape. I thought people would know what it was, but they continued to stand in it, but I was ready to start the wankin’ so I thought they would move out once I started (spoiler alert: they didn’t).

As I started people started screaming and shit, and all I’m thinking is “wtf? Its Donald Trump, I thought you guys liked this dude?” I’m honestly so fucking disappointed and disgusted with those guys. I thought I had found my people. Someone to share my hobbies with, and now they are screaming at me like every other fucking normie that doesn’t understand just how fucking hot Donald Trump is.

Of course the people in the cum zone got soaked. Those people had the fucking audacity to get pissed at me. Some of them anyways, the others were either disgusted or screaming in terror which isn’t much better than getting pissed at me because it’s fucking rude. I marked the cum zone people! It’s your fucking fault if you get cummed on when you’re in the cum zone! Yea that fucking tape wasn’t just for shits and giggles, it had a purpose imagine that you fucking mongoloids!

A lot of people were yelling at me to stop. Now normally I would, I get it. Maybe you don’t like the Donald Trump picture and you want a different angle of his glorious ass. Or maybe you just want a little break to recharge so you stroke the hog even more furiously when you come back. I really do get it. But here’s the thing. I couldn’t stop.

Turns out I have a kink from public masturbation to Donald Trump, go figure. I realized it made my cum even stronger. The more people that noticed me the more turned on I was and the stronger my cum got. At first the whole cum assault rifle was kinda a joke, but its no joke now. It was seriously a cum assault rifle at that point. So I did what any sane person would do with a cum assault rifle. I got.revenge on those fucking mongolids and fucking massacred them.

Eventually I ran dry on cum and was promptly arrested. Now I’m getting a death sentence, but that not what really pisses me off. What really pisses me off is I have to go back into society (jail anyways) and pretend that Donald Trump isn’t the hottest God damn president I have ever seen.

#Donald #Trump #sexiest #fucking #president #tired #pretending #hes

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  1. /u/DeadlyKitte098, I have found an error in your post:

    > “joke, but ~~its~~ [**it’s**] no joke”

    It could be better if you, DeadlyKitte098, had typed “joke, but ~~its~~ [**it’s**] no joke” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it’s’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’.

    ^(This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through DMs!)

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