Epic Peter!

In this episode of Family Guy, Peter wakes up later than he usually does, and stumbles out of bed looking more tired than usual. In the bathroom Peter looks at both ways to see if anyone else can see him, and he takes out a small vile of a mysterious white powder. Peter empties the contents of the vile and then proceeds to snort them. “I am so fucking ready” says Peter very tensely. Peter goes downstairs completely naked. His family who is eating breakfast is not too surprised to see Peter naked as he does this pretty often around the house. “Wheres Brian?” Says Peter. “Brian is at his book lecture in Tucson right now” says Lois. Peter then sits down and says “Brians book hahaha its so boring, its more boring than the time I had to play Lego Star Wars on Xbox with former President George W. Bush hehehehe” *cutaway gag plays*. Meg then says “Oh yea dad? Not as boring as watching you talk about Surfin’ Bird and your favorite TV show, Slippin’ Jimmy and how stupid and boring they all are”. “What did you just say Meg?” Said Peter. “Oh nothing dad, its just that your stuff is boring and stupid” says Meg with a confident looking smirk on her face.

Peter stands up, takes a massive poop on the floor, and then grabs meg by her hair and proceeds to rip her entire face off. Peter then rips her jaw off and slams her dead body on the ground. “It is time” says Peter. The family, all in shock try to flee but Peter manages to grab Stewie by his ankles, and starts slamming Stewie’s head against the kitchen table. This goes on for 2 minutes and Peter doesn’t stop until theres literally nothing left of Stewie’s head and upper body. Peter cuts all the phone lines to the house and destroys the router making it impossible for the others to call for help. Peter finds Chris hiding in the basement where he proceeds to orally and anally rape Chris for 2 hours straight. Peter then blows Chris’s cock and balls off with a double barrel shotgun and then finishes him off by blowing his head off. Lois is then found hiding in a closet, where Peter straps her down to a chair that has C4 and thermite strapped to it.

After ranting for 4 hours straight about how America is ran by corporate shills and sellouts, Peter then decides to detonate the explosives in which completely vaporizes Lois. Peter visits Joe Swanson, his neighbor. Joe answers the door where he is immediately shot in the face with a .357 magnum. Bonney is shot too and Peter puts both of their bodies into drums of acid to dissolve, cartel style. Peter then breaks into Joe’s personal armory, taking a number of rifles and shotguns and of course, thousands of rounds of ammo too. Peter goes to find Quagmire. After knocking on his door, Quagmire notices the guns and tries to shut the door. But before he could, Peter tosses in a police grade flashbang grenade, making Quag loose his senses for a minute. Peter, in a very inhuman way, speeds up to Quagmire and ties him to a chair. Peter strips Quag naked, and places his cock and balls into a blender. The blender is then set to puree mode and Quags genitals are a mess of blood, flesh, and cum. Quagmire passes out from the pain, but then is awoken when Peter injects him with meth. Quagmire is then executed on livestream, by Peter using a rusty meat cleaver.

As the episode continues, Peter is scene indiscriminately killing random people around Quahog, as the police do nothing about it. All main characters of the Family Guy universe are killed off in very brutal and gory ways, except for Brian though for some reason. By the end of the episode, most of Quahog has been slain, with no exceptions for men, women, and even children. These brutal actions taken upon himself, leads Peter into a downwards spiral where he starts to loose touch with reality, as Peter returns home to start cannibalizing the bodies of his family. “Freaking stupid family” says Peter as he’s dining on their flesh. Peter then shoots himself in the head with the needler gun from the Halo games, causing his entire body and face to explode into millions of pieces. The very last shot that the viewers see is a picture of Peter Griffin with hyper realistic eyes with blood gushing out of them, while a woman is screaming in the background for 5 minutes straight.

*End Credits with upbeat music*

#Epic #Peter

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