Finally I can get it off my chest, I fucked Queen Elizabeth

This shit has been weighing on me.

Two years ago, I was a drug dealer in the UK. No – unfortunately I’m not some cool British guy who says “fookin ‘ell” every sentence. I’m an American and I was on a gap year there after college. I was unemployed, but needed some basic income to support my lifestyle so I met a sketchy British dude at a club and acquired a job as a dealer. He was thrilled. “American ah, we nee’ a fookin mate like yeou who’s trooust-wothy to tourists and fook all – go on lad, meke me some fookin quid.” He handed me some Molly and I got straight to it.

I started with the dirty work. Trashy clubs, hoods, etc. Apparently, every now and then he’d have discreet jobs with who he’d call “fahncy foolk” but he didn’t trust me enough to put me on them. Until a few months in.

He sent me on one of those secret jobs one night and I was told to stand at a deserted intersection in a ghetto part of town to wait for a black limo. I stood there with several pounds of ketamine and they showed up. They put a black bag over my head during transit and next thing you know, I woke up in a fancy ass bed with the queen riding my dick as she yelled “oh dear, good lord, I’m going to cum” with her posh British accent. I couldn’t believe it.

I took some ketamine and shots with her and we went another round. And another. We slept together. Then we woke up and had amazing morning sex. I fucked the shit out of her in every position during our time together, and I kissed every square inch of her body. I ate her ass and it tasted like English tea mixed with a little chamomile. She was old as hell, but undressed she was a fucking beauty.

I think I had fallen in love with her overnight, but she broke my heart. She told me to sign an NDA and had me swear a royal oath to never speak of what happened between us until her death. She didn’t even offer tea or breakfast.

I signed, and I felt guilty for fucking the queen each day that passed. It was an unforgivable sin. It feels relieving to let go of this dark secret that has been weighing on me for so long. RIP queen, we shared a very special night.

#Finally #chest #fucked #Queen #Elizabeth

What do you think?

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