greensext

>be me

>Brenda, from Subway

>making sandwich art for hungry customers

>in walks the fattest man I’ve ever seen in my life

>his massive stomach is barely covered by an old faded shirt that says LOTR on it.

>in a wheezy lilting voice he starts panting out his order, as I strain to hear him

>Meatballs, pepperoni, bologna, triple mayo, guacamole

“Sir, we out of guacamole”

>His face turns beet red and he starts screaming something about denying The Riders of Rohan and threatening to call corporate

>I can’t focus on any of it though because all his wild gesticulations have caused his shirt to ride up, exposing his massive belly

>I am transfixed as it flaps to and fro! The subtle gyrations remind me of the fields my forefathers once roamed, rolling in the sweet summer breezes

>I’m transported back to those heady days playing with my sisters in our ancestral homeland. Those heady days of youth, before the cocaine, before the violence, before the SANDWICHES

>Oh, how I long for those carefree days once again…

AND THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT THE RULER OF GONDOR!!!! REEEEEEE!

>I’m snapped from my reverie by the slapping of this buffoons meaty palms against my counter

“SIR, WE OUT OF GUACAMOLE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU! NOW YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THIS SANDWICH OR LEAVE!”

>the fat man summons up what remains of his dignity and waddles out of the store mumbling something about black dwarves ruining the narrative. All of the other customers applaud his departure

>Peace reigns at the Subway once again

#greensext

What do you think?

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