He covered his tracks, he got those elves to lie for him! You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He’s done worse. The other neighbor’s garden! Are you telling me that a man-sized turd just happens to land perfectly in the center of the lawn? No! He orchestrated it! Nicholas! He defecated through a chimney! And I saved him! And I shouldn’t have. I took him into my own house! What was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn’t keep himself from squeezing one out in the toy shop! But not our Nicholas! Couldn’t be precious Nicholas! Defecating all over the North Pole! And he gets to be SANTA?! What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance!
#DEFECATED #CHIMNEY #SANTA