Hot Egg

The entire 3,5 hours of breakfast – almost no one cares about eggs, always takes or orders something else

The last 30 minutes – every guest on the planet decides they want *soft boiled eggs* specifically, and we run out completely Since it’s the last 30 minutes, we don’t wanna make more so they don’t go to waste

Big mistake

One lady comes, asks where the eggs are, I tell her if she wants I can make sure more are delivered to the buffet 5 minutes later, colleague brings three so there isn’t too much to throw away afterwards

Bigger mistake The lady comes back, takes ALL THREE and leaves

I then see another lady *waddle* towards the buffet like a penguin

*Oh no* This lady is so big, that making fat jokes would just make you feel bad. She was so morbidly obese I was genuinely confused how in the ever-loving fuck could she possibly stand. Anyway, she rolls to me, looks at hard-boiled eggs, then looks at the empty container for soft-boiled eggs, looks at me, and then I hear her speak…

This cryptid’s entire vocabulary consists of two words – “hot”, and “egg”. I explain to her that soft-boiled eggs are out, and the chefs are gonna need to make more She looks at me, she looks at the empty container, she looks back at me, points at the container, and says “hot egg” I explain, *again* that we’re gonna need to make more if she wants them So she walks away, annoyed I go in the kitchen, make sure my colleague prepares more (god bless her soul), and I go back to the buffet

The lady is back 30 seconds later, points at the container, and says “hot egg?” So while she’s hitting me with the “I am Groot” I tell her that the eggs are currently being prepared, and will be ready in about 5-10 minutes. Meanwhile she can go sit down and I will make sure it’s delivered to her. SHE PUTS HER HAND ON HER HIP AND JUST STARES AT ME, AS IF SHE EXPECTED ME TO JUST LAY A PERFECTLY-BOILED EGG IN FRONT OF HER!

At this point I am beginning to lose my patience, so before I completely lose it, I slowly straighten my posture, put on the most emotionless, uncanny-valley face humanly possible, and in the best Gustavo Fring fashion say *”Go sit down.”* She scoffs, as if **I** was the annoying one, and left 5 minutes later, colleague brings 6 eggs, we get a waiter and he brings them to her

She takes one. … ***SHE TAKES ONE.*** *I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT THE RESTAURANT’S CLOSING IN 4 MINUTES, AND EVERYTHING FROM THE ‘WARM BUFFET’ IS GETTING THROWN AWAY* *WAS THAT REALLY FUCKING NECESSARY?* *ARE YOU JUST CRACKHEAD-ADDICTED SPECIFICALLY TO SOFT-BOILED HOT EGGS THAT YOU START SHAKING AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR FIX?* *YOU COULD’VE PICKED,* ***LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE FROM THE BUFFET,*** *AND EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY!*

#Hot #Egg

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