How the Avengers would respond to the Capitol riot (a thread)

CAPTAIN AMERICA – tells Falcon, “I fought Nazis once before. They’re extremely dangerous.”

They see the guy scaling the Capitol wall fall into the shrubs.

Falcon: “You sure these are the same Nazis?”

IRON MAN – lands by the guy carrying the podium. Says, “Mind if I borrow this?” tosses it to Hulk, who swings it like a bat at the mob.

Guy: “Hey, that’s MY podium!”

Iron Man: “Actually it’s the Speaker’s. And technically, it’s a lectern.” Then punches him through a wall.

BLACK WIDOW – enters hotel room where Jack Dorsey is tied up. Rips duct tape off his mouth.

Jack: “I’ll do anything you want!”

BW: “Disable POTUS’s Twitter. NOW!”

*Jack fumbles with his phone*. “Done. Anything else?”

BW: “Yeah. Trim your beard for God’s sake.” *tosses him clippers*

HULK – grabs a selfie stick from one of the guys and beats him over the head with it. Deeming it too small, he grabs another guy’s Confederate flag and takes out a whole swath of rioters. He then tosses the flag to Cap, who uses it as a javelin to impale a fleeing Ted Cruz.

HAWKEYE – hears Iron Man in his earpiece say, “Looks like Orange Julius is tweeting from another account.” Hawkeye: “On it.” He locks in on Trump through the White House window and fires an arrow, knocking the phone out of Trump’s hands. Hawkeye: “Damn that felt good.”

THOR – comes face to face with the Viking guy. Says defensively, “Pfft. What a stupid outfit.” Star-Lord: “He’s dressed exactly like you.” Thor: “Heh, not likely. I don’t wear…rabbit hats.” Rocket: “It’s a raccoon.” Thor: “Whatever. The point is – I do NOT look like him.” Just then, Drax approaches the Viking Guy and casually says, “Hey Thor.” Star-Lord shoots Thor a “Told ya so” look. Groot whispers “I am Groot” to Rocket and they both laugh. Thor angrily wields Stormbreaker, and Viking Guy runs off, calling for his mom.

DR. STRANGE – sees Josh Hawley running down the Capitol hall. Strange opens a time portal and Hawley runs straight into it. We see Hawley tumble out into the year 1984. Wong: “Now *that* is Orwellian.” Strange: “No, it’s not—has *anyone* actually read that book?”

SPIDER-MAN – hears Iron Man in his ear say, “Zip-Tie Guy at 3 o’clock. Why don’t you show him how it’s done, kid?” Peter swings across the Rotunda and spots him. He shoots webs around the guy’s hands and ankles, hog-tying him. Then joins the rest of his class on their field trip.

BLACK PANTHER – as rioters chant “Let us in!” at the Capitol door, they’re suddenly drowned out by a louder “Yibambe!” chant led by T’Challa. When the two groups converge, one white woman asks if the Jabari “have a permit,” and another accuses M’Baku of stealing her cellphone.

WINTER SOLDIER – While easily fending off a mob, Captain America says, “I actually *can* do this all day.” He then spots Bucky Barnes amongst the rioters, wearing a QAnon shirt. Cap says, “Oh no. He got brainwashed again.”
ANT-MAN – he’s tasked with leading the members of Congress out of the fray. He shrinks down and lands in Mike Pence’s hair to direct him and the others to safety. A photo of this goes viral, as people think the Debate Fly returned.

ANT-MAN – he’s tasked with leading the members of Congress out of the fray. He shrinks down and lands in Mike Pence’s hair to direct him and the others to safety. A photo of this goes viral, as people think the Debate Fly returned.

CAPTAIN MARVEL – The Squad confronts the guy in Pelosi’s office and demands he give back her mail, “or we’ll take it back.” Guy: “You and what army?” Then, Captain Marvel, Gamora, Scarlet Witch, Valkyrie, and every other female MCU character descend into the room one by one.

THANOS – sends out a tweet distancing himself from Trump

#Avengers #respond #Capitol #riot #thread

What do you think?

12 Points
Upvote Downvote

2 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. The state of the unified American-Falcon reported that “It was the first time to fight the Nazis. They are very dangerous.

    They believed that the expansion of the walls of the prisoners became a vehicle.

    “There’s feelings?

    The environment – Earth by humans. “would and borrow?” is the same as a courier.

    guay – I have to speak.

    iroy: in reality the president. technically it is lesson. It is not revealed by the wall.

    Vidov-entry is a hotel room where both sides are located. We will die.

    “I wanted to do what you do.”

    “Disabley POTUS’Taviter”.

    “Djik fembé fone”.

    “Yeh”. shelm Shelcher.

    Hulk-Moab a sey estekev roma a pedsen. André buytiss toth hied. In need of his small size, he gave another flag of the federal flag and renting a full renovation. He then used the flagship as a velin, which simulates a cruise.

    He listened to the iron mantpis. élicité julius is the key. He was able to walk through a white house and was hit by a ball. “Daman bahafé pulp”.

    “In front of the men”. “There is really ready for you”. This is the flow. He does not wish him. Dr. hi thor, ruth hopes “I is leulette” andré turk, urgh angel villes stormak, vig gai stopped his mother.

    measurements. A species of josh havley in fitol. The opening of the portal is open directly. In 1984, he appeared in a hawle trick. “Nowtis is Orvelian”. “What is not true?

    UN-SPIDER – listener iron man, “Zip-Tie guam 3 p.m. why did not say how to do? He opened with a boy and a network around the kill. The men joined other people who visited their region.

    The blacks – as the riote chart “We! were the abambe, who suddenly was a voice he presided over the t’challa. When two groups are asked, a white woman asked whether D’Djamari allowed to transfer the German baku.

    “I want to do everything every day”. He then saw Bucky’s barns, who crossed a special part. He said that the ship was long.
    He worked for free members of parliament since his work. He regrets and was a struggling supporter of the platte platte and challenged him and another to be safe. It was believed that the deity was bold.

    He worked for free members of parliament since his work. He regrets and was a struggling supporter of the platte platte and challenged him and another to be safe. It was believed that the deity was bold.

    He marvels – men who see in dark offices, proposing him to send his postcard “or return”. “There are you?” H.E. captoen marcville, gamorra, rock vitequeh, ánwar kiri álter á voumn desarrollo.

    Tanos-signate was sent out.

Leave a Reply