I Challenge Putin


I challenge President Putin to a drinking game between him and I. First person to break the seal gets a penalty, first person to fall out of their chair ensures status of democracy. I even offer him a handicap, a padded seat for an elder. It won’t matter, the ground once he hits it will not even be nearly as hard as the Ukrainian response to his sober troops.

My depression will prevail, my tolerance is stronger than the Russian military. I have trained heavily during the Great Pandemic of 2020, practicing alcoholic exercises no one has ever seen, because no one was ever invited.

Liquor stores weep upon sight of me, fear shows in their eyes. Shelves have been barren since my invasion. He brings war, I bring reality. Trust me, friends, he has no chance of defeating me.

#Challenge #Putin

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