I COMMITTED 76 WAR CRIMES AT ITALY

I COMMITED 76 WAR CRIMES AT ITALY, AND SHITTED IN THE BENITO GRAVEYARD. AND THEN I POINTED AT ROMA, I SAID “FUCK YOU ROMA!” AND THEN THE COPS FUCKING BULLIED ME FOR APPARENTLY HARASSMENT, EVEN THOUGH I DID NOTHING! THEN I GOT OUT OF ROMANIA, AND WENT TO THE UK. I SAW THE QUEEN, SHE WAS A GHOST, AND NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID SHE WAS THERE, WHICH IS DUMB! ‘CAUSE BRITISH PEOPLE ARE HAMSTERS ACTUALLY, THEY GOT THAT 🤓 TEETH, ALL OF THEM! AND THEN I GOT OUT OF SWEDEN, I FUCKING POINTED AT AFRICA, EVERYONE SAW ME, AND MY HUGE ASS COCK AND BALLS, EVERYONE WAS IN SHOCK! AND THERE WAS THIS ONE ENTITY, HE WAS BLUE, WEARING A CAP, AND HAD A DUMB CAR. HE JAILED ME FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT, EVEN THOUGH I JUST POINTED AT SOUTH AMERICA! AND THEN I WENT TO ITAL- WAIT WAIT, NO, I WAS ALREADY AT ITALY BEFORE, ACTUALLY PLOT TWIST, I NEVER GOT OUT OF ITALY, WOOOOOW SPOOOOKYYY! AND THEN I WAS LIKE “FUCK THIS” AND THEN I GOT MY SPACE GUN, AND THEN GOD HIMSELF APPEARED, HE SAID EVERYTHING WAS A SIMULATION, SO SINCE EVERYTHING WAS A SIMULATION, I COULD DO ANYTHING! SO I SHOT THEM ALL AND THE DUMB BLUE GUYS, FUCK THEM! THEY ALSO HAD SPACE GUNS, AND THEN I SLEPT, I WOKE UP AND EVERYONE WAS DEAD ON THE GROUND! JESUS CHRIST THERE WAS ORGANS AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE, AND I WAS LIKE “OH SHIT!” SO I CHANGED MY IDENTITY, I GOT OUT OF ITALY AND WENT TO BRAZIL, I WAS AT PARANÁ, SHITTY STATE, FUCKING HATE! AND THEN I DID THE SAME THING I DID IN AUSTRALIA, I POINTED AT IT, BUT NO ONE WAS SHOCKED, I WAS SO HAPPY! AND THEN THERE WAS THIS WOMAN, SHE LOOKED VERY ATTRACTIVE, BUT ACTUALLY SHE WAS A MAN! AND THEN HE DRUGGED ME, AND THEN I WOKE UP, A BUNCH OF MEN WERE SLEEPING NEAR ME, MY COCK AND BALLS WERE MISSING, MY PRECIOUS BABIES WERE GONE! AND THEN I LEFT OUT THE SCREAM OF THE DAMNED! AND BY THAT SCREAM I FUCKING WOKE UP A GIANT, MOTHERFUCKER WAS 15 FEET TALL! HE WAS HOLDING MY COCK AND AFTER THAT HE WAS HOLDING A KNIFE, I PRAYED TO GOD THAT HE WON’T KILL ME, THEN HE FUCKING EXPLODED LIKE A GMOD RAGDOLL! MY CHAINS WERE BROKEN AND AFTER THAT I GOT OUT OF THE ROOM. I GOT CAUGHT BY A BEAR TRAP, THE FUCKING PANDA FROM TURNING RED APPEARED, HE STARTED EATING MY ORGANS AND BONES, I BLACKED OUT AND WOKE UP IN A DESERT. THERE WAS METH NEXT TO ME, I SMOKE IT AND STARTED SEEING EGYPTIAN WALTER WHITE RIDING A CAMEL. I FUCKING BLACKED OUT AGAIN AND WOKE UP IN A OCEAN, A SUBMARINE APPEARED AND FUCKING BOB THE BUILDER WAS RIDING IT, HE TOOK OFF HIS CLOTHES AND HAD AN ORGY WITH A BUNCH OF MYSTICAL PONIES, SO I SMOKED HIS HEAD AND BECAME A VORTEX, I THEN EXPLODE AND BECOME A NEW BORN BABY, AND THEN AFTER THAT I WORK FOR A FOOD TRUCK AND THEN I FUCKING BLACKED OUT ONCE AGAIN AND WOKE UP IN JAIL, I ACCIDENTALLY DROP MY SOAP AND AN OILY BLACK MAN APPEARED, I HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK AND WOKE UP IN TF2. A FUCKING DEMOMAN BLEW UP MY HEAD SO I STARTED TO MAIN SNIPER.
AND THEN I FUCKING REALIZE “HEY WAIT DIDN’T A GUY DRUG ME IN ITALY??” AND I FUCKING START TO HAVE A STROKE, AND THEN I WAKE UP NEXT TO HITLER, HE TAKES OFF HIS MASK AND HE IS ACTUALLY AN OCTOPUS, HE THROWS INK IN MY HEAD AND AFTER THAT I BEGAN TO FUCKING HATE ITALY!

#COMMITTED #WAR #CRIMES #ITALY

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