I showered for the first time in 2022

I stood there for ages. I untangled my hair, washed away months of grime, exfoliated, shaved, did a skincare routine, put on body lotion, a touch of makeup and changed out of pjs into a fresh new outfit I’ve never worn. I sat outside in the sun and waved to strangers. This was my first time outside in months. I started reading a book.

Today I’ve stopped waiting to die, if only for a day. Today I’m a person. I would never dream of treating another human being as badly as I do myself. I am kind and deserve kindness. I am compassionate and deserve compassion. Today I gave myself the hug I so desperately needed. Today I forgave myself.

Maybe this only lasts for one day and I go back to the abyss of depression, but at least for one day I got to feel like a human.

For one day I reminded myself that I’m a person. I deserve to live life. I matter.

Edit: I want to reply to every single comment but at the moment I’m too busy ugly crying just reading these. I can’t put into words what your comments mean and how much of a gift you’re giving me. Thank you thank you thank you!


Leave a Comment