I will blow up the sun.

I have decided that I will blow up the sun. I know this plan may arise some questions, so let’s get to common QnA.

**Why will you blow up the sun?**

Simple. With no sun, the average temperature will drop by at least 2 Celsius, meaning all Californian people will go extinct, realizing they can’t fry bacon on the sidewalk anymore, just eggs. Additionaly, all solar panels will become obsolete, meaning those stupid fucking protected species will have to deal with pure coal energy, sheltered cunts.

**How will you blow up the sun?**

I will make sure to proceed with the operation at night, to be as safe as possible. Once close enough to our star, I plan to rip the meanest fart in the history of astronomy, so potent it causes violent storms back on Earth, making the winds of Neptune look like manufactured artificial farts from jars those e-whores sell. Anyhow, this will fasten the internal fusion of gases that constantly undergoes in the core of the sun, shortening the star’s lifespan to 4.9 billion years, which means I’ll be able to order Wendy’s and still be in time to watch destiny unfold.

**Wouldn’t this wipe almost all life on Earth?**

No.

**Are you sexually attracted to men?**

No, I only gave my homie a hot passionate blowjob by accident, and my moans of pleasure as we had anal sex where just a joke. I’m not a homosexual.

#blow #sun

What do you think?

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