I wish I could get jumping spiders to live in my beard.

if I could talk to the spiders, or communicate this arrangemnt, I think it would be awesome to just have 2 or 3 jumping spiders live in your beard. Imagine you’re eating a sandwich and there are flies bothering you and then BAM out of your beard leaps a spider and takes that fucker down. How fucking tite would that be, and people would be like “what the fuck was that?” and you’d be all like “oh you means my awesome fucking beard spider?” Out at the lake and mosquitos bothering you? Here comes your mother fucking beard spider hit squad to put those fuckers in the ground. Imagine all the times you’ve had unwanted bugs near your head, and now imagine the beard spiders could solve all of those moments. Someone annoying you and being a jerk? Surprise fucking beard spiders, they’re not going to see it coming, they’ll just leap onto his face when he gets up in your beardness. It would be so fucking tite.

#jumping #spiders #live #beard

What do you think?

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