I’m just a regular dude, but somebody on the phone answered and said ma’am yesterday before correcting himself.
I immediately hung up and then sat there in stunned silence, unable to move for what felt like an eternity. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as my stomach turned in knots, my mouth went dry, and my eyes welled with tears. I doubled over, fell out of my chair and began to sob uncontrollably on all fours on my tiled, cold office floor. The pain in my stomach grew unbearable and, blinded by my own tears, I began loudly and ferociously upchucking all four BK whoppers with cheese but no ketchup or onions I’d just eaten for lunch. My arms and legs gave out under the crushing weight of my emotional despair and my body went flat on the floor. All I could do is roll back and forth, back and forth like a rotating alligator to ease my pain as I made puke angels with my enormous, pear-shaped body. I will never understand how or why some people can be so cruel.