Instructions for joining my cult: 1. Become an anti-white liberal like I am. 2. Watch documentaries, like “An Inconvenient Truth”. 3. Think like a tree. 4. Eat all of your meals at the table instead of from a cart. 5. Keep telling lies to the media, as usual. 6. Start acting like a feminist. 7. Start blaming your problems on the patriarchy. 8. Wear lots of black, including your clothes. 9. Stop having opinions of your own. 10. Wear pants that are baggy on the bottom. 11. Go ahead and call me a racist. 12. Don’t think for yourself. 13. Think like a sheep, follow your leader. 14. Become an atheist. 15. Stop reading about the history of the world, like a child. 16. Stop reading anything, including your Bible. 17. Be afraid of guns