Last night I felt a fart building. It felt like a good one. I decided to sit on my coffee table because it is heavy and wooden and I thought maybe it would amplify the fart a little bit. What happened was truly great. The fart split into two streams; one flapped my ass cheeks and the other flapped my scrotum. It created two completely distinct farts, kind of like Rahsaan Roland Kirk playing two saxophones at once. Both farts were wet and sloppy-sounding, and their sounds did not harmonize at all. I was fuming with rage, I needed to hear my farts be in absolute tune. I sat up, my coffee table having a small black stain as my farts were thick and nuclear, I grabbed every canned beans in my cabinet and absolutely destroyed the metal lining and chugged the beans, I waited 30 minutes afterwards and I felt a huge rumble in my stomach! The rumbling went down to my entrance and I crowned as I ran towards the coffee table to sit upon. I ripped ass, It came out as a harmonizing orchestra of pure bean induced shart megaplex. The smell, the sound.. it was so intimidating.. After the fart was done, I looked at my mess and saw a ocean wave of poop.. All over my couch, windows and of course the table. I got on my knees and realized I was misguided.. I thought it was just a fart but I have done so much worse than that. My shaking hands scooped up the melted chocolate cream and tasted it, I started to sob violently.. Not only did it sound like adele and whitney houston singing in an empty mansion.. the taste.. It’s nothing like i’ve ever had before, I got on all fours and cried again.. What have I done.
#night #felt #fart #building