Let me know if this is a stretch, but…

In Logic’s song “Homicide,” featuring Eminem, he states that he “wipes his ass with 6 mil.” Assuming he is referencing US dollars, I believe that he takes the largest shits in the universe. So, let’s break this down. One US dollar is 6.14 inches in length and 2.61 inches in width, which are the dimension that we are concerned with here. That being said, if he were to wipe his ass with 6 million one dollar bills, that means he’d need a total surface area of 667,725 square feet to properly clean his ass. That’s about the size of 248.5 average american homes. Now let’s look at this a little differently. If we were to put every dollar bill that Eminem wiped his ass with in a straight line, it would be 3,070,000 feet long, or 581.4 miles in length. This means that Eminem could scoot from Washington D.C. to Toronto, Canada, continuously wiping his ass, and still need to go another 100 miles before his asshole is clean. So exactly how big would his shit be? To figure this out, we need to make some assumptions. Let’s base it off of the average human shit, which weighs approximately 1 pound. The average person uses about 20 squares of toilet paper per shit, which is 80 inches in length based on the dimensions of American toilet paper squares. Assuming that the size of one’s poop is directly proportional to the amount of toilet paper they use, that puts Eminem’s shit at about 460,546 times larger than an average person’s. That means his shits weigh 460,546 pounds, which is as much as 38.4 full grown African elephants. So how big would that be? Human feces has a density of about 66.17 pounds per cubic foot, on average. This means that his shit must be 6,960 cubic feet. For perspective, that is 870 bathtubs full of shit, and if Eminem were to shit in a 1 cubic foot box and stack them, he would fill enough to be 2.56 times taller than the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building. If his shit was to be 1 inch in width and 1 inch in depth, it would be 1,002,240 feet in length, or the height of 34.53 Mount Everest’s stacked on top of each other. If that isn’t the largest shit in the universe, then we truly are living in a simulation.

#stretch

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  1. In Logic’s πŸ‘Œ song 🎀🎡 “Homicide πŸ”ͺ,” featuring πŸŽ₯ Eminem πŸ«πŸ”΅, he πŸ‘¨ states πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ that he πŸ‘¨ “wipes 🧻 his πŸ‘‹ ass πŸ‘πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€ with 6 πŸ•• mil πŸ’Έ.” Assuming πŸ€“πŸ€” he πŸ‘¨ is referencing US πŸ‘¨ dollars πŸ’Έ, I πŸ‘ believe 🌈 that he πŸ‘₯ takes πŸ‘Š the largest πŸ‘₯ shits πŸ’© in the universe 🌌🍧. So, let’s πŸ™† break πŸ’₯ this down ⬇. One 1️⃣ US πŸ‘¨ dollar πŸ’΅ is 6.14 inches πŸ“πŸ“ in length πŸ“ and 2.61 πŸ›‚ inches πŸ“πŸ“ in width πŸ€­πŸ‘, which are the dimension πŸ€” that we are concerned 😟 with here. That being said πŸ’¬, if he πŸ‘¨ were to wipe 🧻 his πŸ’¦ ass πŸ‘ with 6 πŸ•• million πŸ˜‚ one ☝ dollar πŸ’΅ bills πŸ’΅, that means 😏 he’d 😢 need 😩 a total 😠 surface 🌎 area βš πŸ’€ of 667,725 square β—» feet πŸ‘£πŸ’¦ to properly πŸ‘Œ clean πŸ› his πŸ’¦ ass πŸ‘. That’s βœ” about πŸ€” the size 😱 of 248.5 average πŸ• american πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ homes 🏑. Now let’s πŸ‘πŸΎπŸΎπŸ™† look πŸ‘€ at this a little πŸ‘Œ differently 🧲. If we were to put 😏 every πŸ’― dollar πŸ’Έ bill πŸ’Έ that Eminem 🍬 wiped πŸ’¦πŸ˜“πŸ˜… his πŸ‘‹ ass πŸŽπŸ‘ with in a straight πŸ“ line γ€°, it would be 3,070,000 feet πŸ‘£ long πŸ†πŸ˜, or 581.4 miles πŸ›£ in length πŸ“. This means 😏 that Eminem 🍬 could scoot πŸ•ΊπŸ’¦ from Washington πŸ†πŸ‘΄πŸΌ D.C πŸ›πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ. to Toronto πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦, Canada πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦, continuously ⚽ wiping βœ‹ his πŸ’¦ ass πŸ‘, and still πŸ€žπŸ™Œ need πŸ‘‰ to go πŸƒ another πŸ”„ 100 πŸ’― miles πŸ›£ before β¬… his πŸ’¦ asshole πŸ‘ is clean βœ¨πŸ›. So exactly πŸ‘ŒπŸ™ˆπŸ˜ how big 😱 would his πŸ’¦ shit πŸ’© be? To figure πŸ€” this out, we need 😩 to make πŸ’˜ some assumptions πŸ€”. Let’s πŸ™† base πŸ‘‰πŸΏπŸ‘ŒπŸΏπŸ’¦ it off πŸ“΄ of the average πŸ• human πŸ€¦πŸ‘¦πŸ˜€ shit πŸ’©, which weighs βš– approximately β†ͺ 1 πŸŽ„ pound 🀜πŸ’₯. The average βœ–βž— person πŸ‘« uses 😏 about πŸ˜ŽπŸ€” 20 πŸ”³ squares β—» of toilet 🚽 paper 🧻 per πŸ‘Ό shit πŸ’©, which is 80 πŸ‘ŽπŸΏ inches πŸ“ in length πŸ“πŸ“ based πŸ‘Œ on πŸ”› the dimensions 🍿 of American πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ toilet 🚽 paper πŸ“ squares β—Ό. Assuming πŸ€“ that the size 😱 of one’s 😀😬 poop πŸ’© is directly πŸ‘πŸ‘€ proportional to the amount πŸ”’πŸ“‰ of toilet 🚽 paper πŸ“ they use 🏻, that puts 😏 Eminem’s shit πŸ’© at about πŸ’¦ 460,546 times πŸ• larger πŸ’— than an average πŸ• person’s πŸ‘«. That means 😏 his πŸ’¦ shits πŸ’© weigh βš– 460,546 pounds 🀜πŸ’ͺπŸ†, which is as much πŸ”₯ as 38.4 full 🌝 grown πŸ†™ African ➑🌍 elephants 🐘. So how big πŸ† would that be? Human πŸ‘₯πŸ‘€ feces πŸ’© has a density ⚠🚫 of about πŸ’¦ 66.17 pounds 🀜πŸ’₯ per πŸ’¨ cubic foot πŸ‘£, on πŸ”› average πŸ•. This means 😏 that his πŸ’¦ shit πŸ‘Œ must πŸ‘« be 6,960 cubic feet πŸ‘£πŸ‘’β›“. For perspective πŸ›£, that is 870 bathtubs πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ˜ˆ full 🈡 of shit πŸ‘Œ, and if Eminem 🍬 were to shit πŸ’©πŸ˜­β— in a 1 ❗ cubic foot πŸ‘£ box πŸ“¦ and stack πŸ’°πŸ’¦ them, he πŸ‘¨ would fill πŸ†πŸ’¦ enough πŸ’¦ to be 2.56 times πŸ• taller 😚 than the Burj Khalifa πŸ˜‚πŸ˜’, the world’s 🌎 tallest πŸ—Ό building πŸ‘·πŸš§. If his πŸ’¦ shit πŸ‘Œ was to be 1 πŸŽ„ inch 😲 in width πŸ€­πŸ‘ and 1 πŸŽ„ inch πŸ“ in depth 😳, it would be 1,002,240 feet πŸ‘£β„’πŸ“ in length 🏠, or the height ✈ of 34.53 Mount πŸ—» Everest’s stacked on πŸ”› top πŸ‘΄πŸΏπŸ™ŽπŸΏβ€β™‚οΈπŸ” of each other. If that isn’t the largest πŸ‘₯ shit πŸ‘ŒπŸŒƒπŸ‘€ in the universe 🌌, then we truly πŸ’―βœ” are living πŸ™… in a simulation πŸ–₯❗❓.

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