First of all, I’m well aware of the fact that you’re supposed to wipe front to back if you have a vagina. Id like to state that I don’t just drag my shit into my cooch; I’m very careful, I simply wipe them separately (from the front) so that I can get it all thoroughly cleaned up.
The only person who knew my entire life was my mom. She said that I refused to wipe the “correct way” as a child too. I tried doing it front to back a few times, and it just feels sub par in cleanliness and too much of a hassle. Just overall uncomfortable.
Anyways, my boyfriend and live together with our baby. We each have our own bedroom and own bathroom, but we’re very playful with each other and will sniff at bathroom doors, stick our fingers under the cracks, scare each other, etc. One day he opened the bathroom door while I was wiping to scare me, and saw me wiping from the front. From that day on, I was dubbed “Poopy Coochie.” I hate it. It’s super fucking funny, but not everything about your partner needs to be out in the open… like bathroom habits. I went to the urgent care clinic this morning to get checked out for strep throat, and of course his first comment was “Make sure they check on your poopy coochie too.” I dug my grave and now I must lie in it, R.I.P.
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