On a thread about MRI scans of legs

Yes and no. The age would generally mean the meat has more flavor, but you want some fat to carry that flavor.

The ideal human meat would probably be either toddler thighs and buttocks (well used muscles but a decent amount of fat, ideal for grilling), or a 30yo moderately active but overweight person’s shoulder/upper arm (to slow cook).

Historically, human flesh had been sold as pork and occasionally veal, so I think any part would be delicious if you ground or up.

Humans have different shapes/postures/actions to the flesh of animals we eat regularly, so predicting which muscle groups would be the most flavorful or most tender (usually inverse to each other) is difficult to do.

If we compare to pigs, which are remarkably similar to humans in diet, behavior, brains etc, and who’s flesh it is generally agreed we taste like (or do pigs taste like us?), then I would hazard a guess that an overweight american vegetarian in their 20s would taste the best, provided they had plenty of avocado, beer, and pastries to consume alongside a vitamin rich diet and moderate exercise to work and build the muscles.

TBH, despite the risk of prion diseases, I’d recommend starting with the brain, sliced and crumbed and gently fried. Depending on the health of the person, the sweetbreads (thyroid glands) would be very nice too, without a strong offal flavor. The buttocks of course would make excellent meals, although with humans you might have issues with chewiness and/or excess fat depending on the person and cooking technique.

The belly region and along the ribs would probably make outstanding bacon despite humans upright stance.

The biceps IMHO would be best for a bbq. The lower legs, wrists, and neck are probably suited for slow cooking.

I’m not sure about boobs, but I don’t think the penis would be very good at all. It would be very chewy without much meat as it is mostly tissues and skin. However I might just have a small dick so ymmv.

So much depends on the activity level and (to a lesser extent) diet of the person being consumed that it is hard to definitively say. I’d suggest testing small strips but ultimately slow cooking most as stews or smokey bbq, or grinding into sausages etc.

If you’ve read this far, please note I am very against murder of humans, pigs, or cattle. I just have a lot of experience. I’m a little drunk so apologies for any mistakes. As a chef and an environmentalist, I’d be honored if people ate me upon my death. Just maybe avoid my liver and don’t eat me less than medium well.

#thread #MRI #scans #legs

What do you think?

12 Points
Upvote Downvote

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply