Shrek is Love: PG Edishun

>be me

>be 16

>watching Shrek 1 for the first time in a long time

>little brother starts watching it too

>little brother says “its awesome”

>even though its halfway through

>parents come in the room

>they turn off the tv while we were watching Shrek

>I get mad

>I yell at my parents

>little brother joins in too

>Parents say “we’re both grounded”

>They send us to our room

>before we’re halfway up the stairs

>there was a big boom

>Shrek, happy and in his underwear, come barging to the door

>The whole room fills with the aroma of onions

>Shrek sees my parents still yelling at us

>Shrek turns on the t.v, seeing Shrek was on

>OGRE MY DEAD BODY

>Shrek rips my dad’s chest hair off

>starts eating my dad’s hair vigerously

>mom freaks out

>mom runs to the phone

>shrek does a major jump, with a back flip, and lands in front of my mom before she picks up the phone

>Shrek, then, cuts an onion, then shoving gum in his mouth so the onion won’t burn his eyes.

>mom passes out from the horror.

>Shrek looks at us

>”taek ur shirts off, i need 2 chek ur helth”

>Me and my brother takes off our shirts

>we watch as shrek pulls out his medic equipment.

>Shrek pulls out a stethoscope and puts it on our backs, he says “Taek uh deep breth”

>We do

>Shrek tells us to sit down

>we sit down

>Shrek puts his plexor on our knees and gives a light tap.

>There was no pain, and we had normal reflexes.

>Shrek says “K u wer 8 years l8 on ur tetnis shot ladehs, i must give it to you”.

>He gives me the shot.

>Sure, it was a tad painful, but it helped.

>He goes to my brother, who does the same thing as I did

>Shrek orders us to stand up

>We do

>Shrek orders us to take our shoes off.

>We do

>Shrek tells me and my brother to step on the scales.

>so he weighed us both.

>Our weight is normal

>Shrek puts blood pressure thingy on our arms

>He pumps it

>me and my brother have normal blood pressure

>we thank shrek

>our mom awakens

>shrek gets up and leaves

>before he leaves he whispers

>”ur both helthy, stai helthy by eting rite”

>Me and my brother are happy, and will remember but one thing

>Check urself

>b4 u shrek urself


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