The COMPLETE (?) pigeon fucking saga

Please DM me parts of this saga I might have missed and where to insert them to help me let the world know the full story.

##The post that started it all:

#I raped a pigeon

I live in an apartment and I’ve been having issues with pigeons shitting on my balcony. It’s a balcony with a real nice view on top of a mountain, so it was really pissing me off that I can’t enjoy it properly. I like to cook, drink my tea there, but I’m afraid of catching diseases from the pigeon shit. 

I read about pigeon deterrents online and tried everything. I put up spikes on the railing and edges, hung up CDs, put up fake scarecrow ravens and even tried playing high-pitched noises. They kept coming back and shitting all over my balcony. Nothing worked. I even bought a water gun to blast them with, and it only scares them away the moment I do it but they come back when I’m not around.

Today, I saw a pigeon land on my balcony and I absolutely lost my shit. I was struck with a primal urge to assert male dominance and went out, grabbed the pigeon, took it into my bathroom, and assfucked it raw over my toilet bowl. It felt good to show the pigeon who’s boss like how people do it in prison. My cock barely fit inside his small ass, and for a moment I thought my thrusts could kill or severely injure him. He started cooing and moaning, and he came all over my toilet bowl. I finished inside him raw. 

I took him back to the balcony and released him so that he could tell all his friends how I humiliated him and pounded a gaping hole in his ass prison style. I thought this would scare them away for good. 

But instead, he went and told all his friends that I fuck and now I have a bigger problem. The pigeons, both male and female keep coming to my window sill and balcony and harassing me begging me to fuck them. There is 100x more shit on my balcony now. They keep cooing, moaning, and banging against my windows begging for the dick.

I can’t leave my house anymore because when I do, they recognize me and mob me humping me and moaning. My plan didn’t go as expected at all and I don’t know what to do now. I can’t sleep at night because of all the cooing, moaning and banging against the windows. Is there a way to make myself unattractive to the pigeons? Has anyone dealt with this before?

Now there is also cum all over my windows and balcony. The wildlife authorities said pigeons are an endangered species now in the area because they stopped mating with each other cause they only want human dick. They are suing me for endangering the pigeons. I don’t have the money for this huge lawsuit please guys help me out here.

##The pigeons perspective:

#I (4m) was fucked by a BWC and want to know why the Cock Man wont fuck me or my pals any more so we harassed him for his cock. AITA?

##Pest control arrives:

#100+ Pigeons Raped ME

Hello, Pest Control Professional Anon here. I was recently called by an anonymous client to deal with a pigeon problem. I was paid a fair sum of money, so I got to work.

I arrived to the client’s house, with my car full of roof spikes and motion activated sprinklers. Immediately when I left the car, it was anything like I had ever seen in my 8 year long career. Pigeons rubbing up against the glass, cooing almost as if they were desperate for sexual interaction. My jaw dropped. I estimated about 300 pigeons were outside that house.

The client said over phone line that they had recently moved into this house, and due to an action that they took (they refused to disclose me what had occurred), he could not leave his home. Deciding not to call in support, I got my ladder out and climbed onto the roof. This was the worst mistake of my life.

About a hundred pigeons were rubbing up against me, as if begging for sex. They gnawed at the cloth covering my public area. They eventually got to my underwear, and one pigeon flew in and immediately ripped my pants to shreds. In an instant, 100-something pigeons flew directly at my cock. Of course, they could not forcefully fuck me, so they started chewing at my cock. This would be the part where I would cum, but I’m not a masochist, so the pain was immense. This moment made me wish I never joined this pest control business, despite all the friends I made and the adequate pay I get. Hell, I met my wife at this company and I still regret joining it. 

I eventually escaped the horny grasp of the pigeons, but the damage was done. I can never cum again. Me and my wife were trying for a kid, so this is devastating news to us. This is the lowest I’ve ever been in life. What do I do next?

#I raped a pigeon (part 2)

Hey guys, I was finally able to solve the pigeon problem. It’s been a weird few months and I’m glad it’s finally behind me. So here’s the update.

Following my sexual assault of the pigeon I wrote about, I fell sick and tested positive for chlamydia psitacci in the ER. This resulted in a severe case of psittacosis which caused pneumonia. I felt like absolute shit, but a few days on a ventilator and IV fluids/antibiotics brought me back up to speed. 

Extremely embarrassed, I told the doctor I had engaged in unprotected sex with a pigeon. I left out the “nonconsensual” detail to avoid being prosecuted. He told me I got off easy and if I weren’t an otherwise healthy young man, it could’ve been fatal. He advised me to avoid all sexual activity and physical contact with pigeons. 

When I was discharged, I arrived back home to the usual mob of pigeons cooing, moaning and humping me. I had to walk through the parking lot swinging a crow bar to keep them at bay. I fell into a deep depression for a few days after getting home, but soon I read some powerful bible verses and built the strength to overcome it.

I ordered some cyanide off the dark web and planned to publicly execute one of the pigeons in way that would establish a negative association with being manhandled by my alpha cock. 

This time, I took a condom and rubbed a thin layer of Vaseline over it that the cyanide would stick to. I used a mia khalifa video to get erect so that I could put it on my cock. Then I cracked a window open, grabbed a pigeon and took it to the bathroom.

I held him over the toilet bowl and violently pounded his ass but this time with my cyanide cock. He was cooing and moaning, and he came three times. As I was about to finish, I removed the condom and came all over his wings, then I released him to the balcony. 

He died abruptly in front of his friends, but surprisingly they weren’t fazed by it. They started to hump his wings because my cum was on them. Once they got bored of that they resumed banging on the windows, cooing/moaning and begging for the dick.

Still determined, I stepped out to the hallway and by chance met a new next-door neighbor who was moving in, Jamal. I offered him $500 to bang a pigeon with his gorgeous black cock, $750 if he goes raw. He firmly obliged.

Jamal went to his balcony and out in the open, he penetrated a male pigeon with his enormous black cock (raw). He fucked it passionately like a bull, with slow, explosive thrusts. It was kind of hot to be honest. When he came inside the pigeon with his final thrust, it died. His cock was beautiful, the girth was incredible. It was poetic like a scene from a movie. 

My plan worked. Now the pigeons are infatuated with him and him only. My little sissy johnson could not compare to his beautiful black cock. I feel kinda bad but it’s dog eat dog out there, not my problem anymore.. oddly I’m a bit jealous but I pray to Jesus Christ our lord and savior to cleanse my mind of these dark thoughts..

##The pigeons perspective (part 2 ver 1):

#We are being raped by two men, please send help.

Please, if anyone is reading this send help! Recently two men who live in the building my flock nests on have started to kidnap and rape us. 

Michael was sunning his feathers yesterday when he was grabbed by a large black man who brutally raped his cloaca until he was shooting blood out of it in addition to piss and shit. 

The man kept saying “you like this don’t you?” And “That‘a good birdussy.” We all watched in horror as Michael was torn asunder by the man’s giant cock. Shortly after Michael died. He was cooing in my wings as he took his last breath. I will never forget his last words: “Worth it.”

I don’t know when they are coming back, but I am sure they will. If someone can call the ASPCA or PETA please do, I would myself, but don’t have fingers to dial a telephone number.

##The pigeons perspective (part 2 ver 2):

#Hi I’m a pigeon (6M)

So basically I’m just a regular pigeon except for my obsession with human dick, what can I say ? The other pigeons (even the fempigeons) don’t satisfy my hunger, my hunger for BIG COCK. You see my friend pigeon Rick died yesterday but God could I see pleasure in his eyes and whole body oozing out in thick shades of white, just couldn’t handle that juicy scrumptious throbbing dick, I bet my pigeossy could take it all in and supposedly there’s this new guy here who bangs even better than the previous, *COOOO I just came twice just thinking of the endless possibilities. Anyways ,need to go touch some grass and eat those juicy worms and someday.. Someday my turn will come too..

##Jamal’s daughter sees him:

#My dad just fucked a pigeon, HELP!!

Ok so a bit of a backstory, I (14F) just moved into a new apartment with my dad (37M). I went inside to start decorating my room and I hear the doorbell, I have anxiety so I decided to stay in my room and hide and I heard my dad talk with the neighbor (19M). I heard something about money, raw and pidgeons but that’s it.

Then I heard the door close and I kept decorating my room until I heard cooing and moaning from outside.

To my horror my dad was having vicious sex with one of the pidgeons from the balcony while my neighbor was beating off to it, I literally couldn’t scream from the horrors I just witnessed. 

Then the neighbor gave him $750 and he went away, now there’s a bajillion pidgeons on our balcony cooing and moaning at my dad. I’m gonna be honest this got me a little bit horny so my dad went to get groceries and this was my time to strike, I went outside. Grabbed a pidgeon and shoved it up my 🅱️ussy. The pidgeons were cooing and moaning even louder now and I kept fucking the pidgeons by shoving his head up my 🅱️ussy.

Then my dad came home and he saw everything. He wasn’t mad, or dissapointed. He joined in and we banged like 5 pidgeons at the same time. So, what do I do now? There’s even more pidgeons now as I think we started a new population.

##The landlord joins:

#My tenants keep fucking pigeons

Okay so basically I (28fb) own this apartment building in downtown detroit (michigan). A few days ago a flock of pigeons flew in and I guess kept shitting on one of my tenants balcony. Well I’m drinking my morning coffee and I look out the window to see him beating off to his neighbour fucking a pigeon. I’m incredibly confused, as soon after I saw his daughter grab a pigeon.

What’s the appropriate response? Do i mark up their rent? Do I kick them out? Or do I just fuck a pigeon and find out. Help!!

Edit: I fucked a pigeon. Oh god I understand. I understand..

##Jamal’s wife sees:

#My husband fucked a pigeon

I am so disgusted. I came home to my husband to see him fucking pigeons with our daughter. He told me that he was being paid to fuck the pigeons, but that is no excuse to bring our daughter into this. I am packing my bags and leaving, and I’m taking my daughter with me.

##The pigeon fucking is spreading…:

#A few people in my neighborhood are fucking pigeons

It started not too long ago, at first I (23M) started noticing a lot pigeons flocking around my street, and they were moaning and squaking… at first ai just thought it was mating season but then I see a dude, fucking a pigeon raw. I- I was gonna call the police… but it was kinda hot… Watching that pigeon get used and it squaking and moaning… and the worse part is, the pigeon wanted it. IT WANTED IT. I have never fucked a pigeon before but… recently another dude was fucking a pigeon. It was even more hot- his big black cock getting a pigeon. And now they were flocking the two houses, then I see a KID FUCKING A PIGEON. I’m absolutely astounded ngl. So… I started doing it too- I felt guilty at first but I really enjoyed it…

TL;DR: Everyone fucking pigeons and I joined in

##The pigeons start to become more aggressive:

#A pigeon raped my wife

I was in my backyard with my wife planting roses; it was a normal day. But after a moment I hear a scrumptious pair of wings clap behind me. I immediately assume it is a pigeon due my prior knowledge of their gargantuan asses. I turn around and I see him slide his huge pigeon penis out of my wife’s ass, still dripping and soaked in pigeon jizz. I was too late to save her. 

The pigeon sees me and tries to escape, but his ass is much too large and denies a quick take-off. Seeing the pigeons luscious cheeks sticking out so erotically made my cock stand at attention, throbbing ever so hard. Looking back at my wife’s body, her ass still agape, I know what I have to do: Get revenge. My cock was now throbbing with only one emotion now, hatred. I rip into the pigeon’s succulent asshole, my cock lengthening with every thrust. He begs for mercy, but I do not grant it. After 20 or so minutes, I give one final thrust, and unleash my jizz inside of him, filling him to the brim. He gives a moan out of either pain or pleasure, but it does not matter, for he will be dead soon. I sheath my still rock hard penis and walk away triumphant. My revenge and my existence will be appreciated by the rest of the family, and it might teach a lesson to the other pigeons.

##The world starts to break down:

#They are everywhere

Day 420 of hiding. I can hear them. Their little feet walking on my roof, their peaks and claws scratching at my door, with their little wieners out, begging for my cum. I can no longer leave my house and I am beginning to no longer be safe inside either. 

This morning i went for my daily maggot filled orange colored diarrhea in my bathroom, when i noticed the water being white and gooey. That was not water. They started cumming in my water supply. I open my sink, cum flows, the kitchen: all cum. Some of them tried to enter trough my toilet, only to drown in all the diarrhea and cum. Their bodies clogged the toilet and when i flushed it spilled all over the floor. My floor is now covered in piss, bird poop and cum. 

I have lost track of time. My electricity is gone and all my windows have been boarded up so they can’t come inside. My only light source is the small hole in the wall trough which they stare at me. They won’t stop making moaning sounds. I haven’t slept for a while. I can’t. They are in my walls. I hear them crawling around. Cum is leaking trough the floor. They are watching me.

##The ending:

#The Day the Last Pigeon Came

When I was a little girl, my father used to tell me stories about those funny creatures. Red eyes, with a brave, maybe ignorant behavior: Pidgeons

They used to dominate cities, from the lowest streets to the highest skyscrapers. It was always a mystery the origin of such animal. No one had ever seen a nest or a hatchlings. They’d just appear from thin air, covering windows, cars and earth itself with beautiful white paint.

My father never told me what end such curious creature had: all I’ve learned was after he passed away.

See, the world had such unknown balance to us humans. Those birds, so many times called “flying-rats” were a vital piece of our biosphere. When the Pidgeons disappeared, the mosquitos also did, followed by the leeches, ticks and when our species got to understand on how serious of a situation we were in, it was too late.

In one month, Hawaii was gone, swallowed by the sea. In half a year, Europe was completely destroyed by hundreds of 13 Mag earthquakes. Earth had never seen such bloody days before.

And everything because of cocks.

The rumors tell a story about a bird lover, who introduced pidgeons the sweet pleasure of being pounded. Soon, bigger cocks were involved, and the birds got addicted to it.

Thousands, if not millions of birds flew from all the continents to the middle of United States, attacking poor men crotches in search of anal pleasure, but in the end searching for the original dick.

The message spread between the species, and as addicts do, the pidgeon neglected every other thing they required to survive. They’d hump day after day, but never reproducing, only looking for the anal pleasure from human dicks. Most of them couldn’t survive the journey: they’d die after being pounded once or twice, but their primitive minds didn’t care. The birds didn’t eat, didn’t drink nor reproduce: only searched for cock, cock and more cocks.

Now the survivors of human species live in a wasteland, myself included. But not for long.

I found an abandoned trailer with some weird things, but the most important thing was some cyanide together with some condoms.

I’ll join my father in the afterlife, but not before cursing whoever started all this: I curse your soul, pidgeon fucking man. You shall burn in a thousand hells, being covered by a thousand pidgeons shit!

#COMPLETE #pigeon #fucking #saga

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