The leaked script of the sequel of Team Fortress 2’s short film “The Expiration Date”

It was a gloomy day. Spy was in his dorm practicing the sacred French art of shoving a baguette down his ass.

He slowly pulled it out filling the room with a long loud moan.

But the entire experience was left in shambles when he heard his teammate Medic sobbing in his lab.

He busted through the entirely naked and pissed with the baguette covered in his dookie ready to bash Medic in the head for ruining his traditional French ritual.

“Why are you making so much noise, Hitler wannabe?!!” He yelled.

“Boo hoo my bestie Heavy died when he tried to dig his gun into his ass hole. His ballsack accidentally pulled the trigger and shot all his insides up.” he cried.

Spy gave zero fucks. He hit medic in the head with his chocolate baguette.

He squatted like Heavy always did to assert his dominance and used Medic like a toilet.

He pissed, he shat down his throat and was ready to continue his ritual.

But suddenly out of fucking nowhere Scout came in and pogged very hard. The scene made him so horny his dick already came. But it wasn’t your average nut clarity. In fact, He didn’t fap for so long, he managed to store a shit load of cum in his ballsack. He blew a cum bomb all over the lab.
A tsunami of cum was the last thing Spy saw before seeing light forward. The tsunami killed him on impact, even poor Medic who was unconscious.

Scout was paralyzed after releasing his humongous load.

Then Pyro came with his wiggling impossibly large cock. The tip had opened a pitch black hole, which after in a matter of seconds, started absorbing everything.

It absorbed a paralyzed Scout, Spy and Medics corpses, everything in the lab and finally the whole fuckin room itself.

But Pyro wasn’t satisfied yet. The gaping hole began swallowing the entire teams hideout. Nobody was quick enough to react at what was going on.

Pyro then flew over to the blu base thanks to his cockvore abilities and the tip swallowed everything. His girth, length and width of his penis became larger and larger.

He then chucked the whole Mann Co HQ inside his genitals, abducting Saxton Hale, The Administrator, Red and Blu Mann, Gray Mann and Ms. Pauling.

But still Pyro wasn’t satisfied yet. He flew outside of the atmosphere, with his dick being 10 times as larger than all of Russia’s Territories combined.

He penetrated into the center of Earth, reaching its core.

Like a gigantic vaccum cleaner, the cock absorbed the whole planet, killing the entire world population.

Pyro was satisfied that he fulfilled his filthy fetish, but his penis became self aware and wanted even more.

It started to absorb the entire solar system. Pyro was incapable of stopping it and could only watch hopeless.

The cock slurped the Milky Way like literal milk. It even devoured the Andromeda galaxy and other similiar galaxies.

Pyro tried to kill himself by strangling but his dick slapped him in his face so hard he got brain damaged.

Pyros penis then went as far as absorbing space itself.

Soon there was nothing left. Only a pitch white void with Pyro in it. His dick outgrew his weight and size.

The dick couldnt handle the entire universe inside its testicles. It was too much for it. It grew larger and larger until suddenly, it simply exploded. Both Pyro and his dick died.

And so, the big bang came again, starting our universe once again.


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