Trust me, this is a lot more than 5 minutes. A LOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT more.
(Problem 1: The Timer)
So how do we get rid of the primary obstacle: The natural 5 minute timer in every game. There is no way to get rid of it.
Thousands of light-years away, there are quasars emitting highly concentrated neutron beams. Since these are so far away, the chance of them hitting Earth are pretty much zero, but there is a chance.
If one of these beams hit your phone, then it could cause what is known as a soft error. Soft errors cause small malfunctions in the transistors running your electronics. One of these soft errors could cause the one piece of code that governs the timer to malfunction and raise it up to insane levels.
According to this guy on the internet, the average electronic gets 2 soft errors a year. If you spend an hour a day every day playing clash royale, the chance of getting a soft error per day is 0.02%. (2/365/24 = 0.0002)
Those aren’t great odds, but that’s just the chance of a soft error. We need the soft error to change the timer or remove the timer. We will disregard the timer since in the scale of this video no value it could be changed to would be significant enough. Therefore, we will look at the probability of the timer being removed.
I don’t code so these are very rough guesses. I’d say that the timer altogether, including the visuals and mechanics, consist of 1000 lines of code. I might be way off but this seems reasonable.
According to this guy on the internet, big games typically have 500 thousand to 10 million lines of code. Since clash Royale is on the smaller end of these big boy games I’ll estimate it’s line count to be a million.
Assuming soft errors affect 1000 lines of code, the chances of this affecting the timer is roughly 0.1%. This is oversimplified but let’s say if the soft error hits the timer, there’s a ⅓ chance it won’t do anything, a ⅓ chance it’ll add code to the timer section, and a ⅓ chance it’ll delete code.
Out of the 1000 lines of code, 5 of them govern the 5 minute timer, so that’s a 0.5% chance.
So all in all, let’s do the math.
0.0002 * 0.001 * 0.33 * 0.005 = 0.00000000165 or 0.000000165% chance to get a soft error that removes the timer.
Which means that it’ll be an average of 606 million games before you get this. 12 games a day, that means it’ll be 50 million days before you experience this, aka 138000 years.
Obviously we can’t set things up within a human lifetime or even the entire lifetime of humanity if we blow ourselves up but this is with 1 phone.
With 138 thousand phones this can be conceivably shortened down to one year. I’m sure we’ll have a hard time asking the banks to loan us 138 million dollars so we can play clash Royale but I’m sure we’ll find a way.
So after about a year we have a clash Royale game without a timer. You might think we just figured out the key to solving the longest game possible in clash Royale, but trust me… we are only scraping the surface.
(Problem 2: Degrading)
If we want to run our clash Royale game for a while, we’re going to need to charge it. But with all batteries, they degrade over time. With rechargeable batteries, they last around 3-4 years before you need to replace them.
However there’s a more immediate problem. Clash Royale will be idling for a long time, meaning you’re probably going to leave it on charge for days at a time. This is the easiest way to destroy your phone, ruining both the battery and the charger.
If we make a machine that collects the radiated energy from the battery and puts it back into the system and also has a smart tip which controls battery flow (which stops electron flow when the phone is close to full) we could potentially last a couple of years.
If we somehow perfect this machine, consider this problem solved.
(Problem 3: Disasters)
Even if you live in a relatively storm free area, on the scale of thousands of years one will eventually pass through the room the Clash Royale setup is in, destroying it.
You could put the entire setup in a bunker underground, but you would still be vulnerable to earthquakes. To prevent this, try being as far away as possible from fault lines. In the US, Florida and North Dakota are your best bet.
Although, if we’re talking on the scale of thousands or millions of years, continental plates will drift and you might eventually be close to a fault line.
Also, if a war, or nuclear disaster, or anything like that happens near the setup, all bets are off.
There are solutions to these problems but I’ll go over that later.
(Problem 4: The Red Giant)
So then, every problem on Earth is mitigated. We have our setup far underground with a machine that reuses energy with a smart charger that stops charging once the phone reaches 100% along with a machine that repairs the phone. So we wait for 5 billion years.
And then we get sucked into the sun.
So, for the people under the age of 8 that don’t know what a red giant is, I’ll enlighten you.
Stars are made from dust and gas accumulating and clumping together due to gravity in nebulas, which are basically stellar nurseries. The gas cloud collapses and the Sun is born.
The reason the Sun has so much energy is nuclear fusion. In this case, hydrogen is converted to helium, which releases light and heat energy.
But the sun doesn’t have an unlimited amount of hydrogen, in fact it only has 2 septillion pounds of the stuff. In around 5 billion years the sun will be close to running out of hydrogen.
After that the sun will be forced to burn helium instead of hydrogen and that causes it to expand into a red giant, which has a good probability of swallowing the Earth. Imagine you’re about to three crown someone with your max level mini pekka and then you got sucked into the sun. True story, by the way.
To circumvent this we need to move really far away from the sun. For that, there’s no better place than Sedna.
Sedna is so far away from the Sun that it takes it over ten thousand years to orbit it. When the sun expands into a red giant, no problem.
By the way, moving our setup to Sedna also mitigates the disaster problem. While there are probably windstorms and the temperature is literally just above absolute zero, the setup is deep underground so that shouldn’t be a problem. Hopefully.
(Problem 5: Milkdromeda)
Moving from Earth to Sedna posed a pretty big problem: Sedna is tiny compared to Earth, and it is much farther from the Sun, so it is easily rocked or even captured by another star.
This was a problem since the beginning, but up to this point stellar encounters are extremely rare. But the Milky Way, our galaxy, and Andromeda, the closest big galaxy are actually going to collide with each other in 5 billion years.
This causes an influx of new stars and it would probably take a few million years for stars to reach their equilibrium within Milkdromeda. During these millions of years, Sedna could be easily captured by these new stars, perhaps way too close to them and would be fried.
There’s no way we can prevent this unless we can literally move our solar system out of the way, but that’s impossible… wait, it is possible!
Through something called a stellar engine, you can move the entire solar system, since if the sun moves, the planets and asteroids move with it.
Ok, so I’m not an astrophysicist so here’s a quote from someone who’s smarter than me. “A Caplan Thruster (named after astronomer Matthew E. Caplan) is a type of stellar engine that uses concentrated stellar energy to excite certain regions of the outer surface of the star and create beams of solar wind for collection by a multi-Bussard ramjet assembly, producing directed plasma to stabilize its orbit, and jets of oxygen-14 to push the star. The Bussard engine would use 1015 grams per second of solar material to produce a maximum acceleration of 10 to the power of 9 meters per seconds squared, yielding a velocity of 200 km/s after 5 million years, and a distance of 10 parsecs over 1 million years. While theoretically the Bussard engine would work for 100 million years given the mass loss rate of the Sun, Caplan deems 10 million years to be sufficient for a stellar collision avoidance.”
With the Caplan Thruster we can avoid any stellar encounter that comes our way.
So now, we play the waiting game. Let’s go over our entire setup. Around the sun, we build a Caplan thruster. We go to the far reaches of the solar system to Sedna and drill a hole underground and construct a bunker. In the bunker, we essentially create a perpetual motion machine and smart charger.
And then, Clash Royale itself.
The sun becomes a white dwarf, freezing the solar system. The 71 galaxies in the galactic local group coalesce into one huge mega-galaxy. The universe gets bigger and bigger, making everything millions of light-years apart. We will be a cold, isolated speck in the grand scale of our reality. The universe becomes depleted of the gases needed to form protostars, and so, stellar production ends. Sedna eventually gets kicked out from the solar system through gravitational decay. All remaining stellar remnants like white dwarfs or neutron stars are ejected from galaxies. Sedna is a rogue planet, all by itself, while the universe goes dark.
Except for our Clash Royale game!
(Problem 6: Proton Decay)
Before we talk about proton decay, let’s just visualize how much time passed between Milkdromeda and now. We are at a 100 duodecillion years, a number with 41 zeroes. Before, we were only at a billion, meaning we have multiplied our time by over a decillion.
Now, what is proton decay? I’m not an astrophycisist, so here’s a quote from someone smarter than me.
In particle physics, proton decay is a hypothetical form of particle decay in which the proton decays into lighter subatomic particles, such as a neutral pion and a positron. The proton decay hypothesis was first formulated by Andrei Sakharov in 1967. Despite significant experimental effort, proton decay has never been observed. According to the Standard Model, the proton, a type of baryon, is stable because baryon number (quark number) is conserved (under normal circumstances; see chiral anomaly for exception). Therefore, protons will not decay into other particles on their own, because they are the lightest (and therefore least energetic) baryon. Positron emission – a form of radioactive decay which sees a proton become a neutron – is not proton decay, since the proton interacts with other particles within the atom.
Some beyond-the-Standard Model grand unified theories (GUTs) explicitly break the baryon number symmetry, allowing protons to decay via the Higgs particle, magnetic monopoles, or new X bosons.
Wow, I became 10 times smarter just reading that.
Anyway, I want to emphasize the word hypothetical. If protons do decay then we’re kind of screwed because a phone probably needs it’s protons to work properly. But if proton decay is false then we’re saved. Next problem.
(Problem 7: Black Holes)
By this time we have finished the Stelliferous Era and have entered the Degenerate Era. Here, the majority of the universe consists of black holes. So, by random chance, our setup could be sucked into a black hole, which is obviously a problem.
There is no known way to destroy black holes but we could make another black hole out of antimatter. This would cost 2 tredecllion dollars to get all the materials needed to create the anti-black hole, which is a number with 41 zeroes, but it’s all worth it for the sake of science.
By the way, it’s a tredecillion dollars… per black hole.
So we need another machine that can detect when a black hole is close, spew octillions of pounds of anti-hydrogen, then have it collapse into a anti-black hole and then when the black hole and anti-black hole collide they annhilate each other.
(Problem 8: Quantum Tunneling)
After 100 vigintillion years, there is a 99% chance that one of the atoms in the setup quantum tunneed to somewhere else, maybe even a black hole. By the way, 100 vigintillion is almost how many cookies i have in cookie clicker.
Similar to proton decay, if quantum tunneling is possible we’re kinda screwed. A phone probably needs it’s atoms to work.
Again, tunneling is hypothetical. Even if it is possible, there is a solution, but it makes sense if I tell you later.
(Problem 9: The End of The Universe)
In 10 to the 10 to the 120 years (by the way, that is more than a googolplex) the universe will be destroyed. How? I won’t go over it, but several theories are heat death, big rip, big freeze, big crunch, big slurp, big bounce and false vacuum. That’s a lot of bigs.
So, there’s no way we can get around this, unless we can literally escape the universe… but that’s impossible… wait it is possible!
If the omniverse theory is correct, then that means there are cosmic strings connecting parallel universes. Physicists have made models on how to open wormholes, but every possibility so far is extremely unstable, with it closing faster than the speed of light. Exotic matter which has a negative mass could be used to prop the wormhole open but that probably doesn’t exist.
However, by a googolplex years humanity would probably be technologically advanced enough to create a trans-multiversal wormhole.
This solves problems 6 and 8, since we might warp to universes where those laws of physics that govern proton decay and quantum tunneling don’t exist.
(The End of The Omniverse)
According to Chaotic Inflation Theory, there are 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 7 universes. Assuming each universe lasts 10 to the 10 to the 120 years, yeah. We got a huuggee number on our hands.
In total, the longest Clash Royale game is 10^10^10000120 years long. There literally isn’t enough space in the universe to write out the exponent, let alone the actual number. This is so big, the universe literally isn’t enough to put into scale how gargantuan this number truly is.
For the game to be a full game, it must eventually end. And I don’t think that having the game end by the entire fabric of reality being ripped apart counts. So, 5 minutes before the last of the 10 to the 10 to the 10 to the 7 universes completes it’s 10 to the 10 to the 120 years, it is programmed to start beating the game. For the first time in literally forever, a max level mini pekka is deployed, and it three crowns. This is the last relic of human civilization. If the omniverse is a simulation, maybe the people running the simulation will be so impressed on our dedication to Clash Royale that they will give humanity a second chance. We have literally spent unimaginable amounts of money and time so high it literally wouldn’t fit in the universe for a mobile game.
And you know, that’s the admirable thing about humanity. They don’t know when to stop. If they have a goal in mind, they will see that they accomplish it, even if it is in 10 to the 10 to the 10000120 years, they will get the last laugh.
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