My wife broke her phone over the weekend, so we got her a new one. After it came in yesterday, she used my phone to log onto her Google account to so something, sets her phone up and gives mine back to me. I’m playing Dark Souls 2, not thinking much about it. She goes to bed, I stay up gaming for a while.
The next morning, a guy in our fantasy football chat posts an image of his Squirtle evolving. Somewhere in the back of my head, I seemed to remember a Riley Reid/Squirtle “Fuck I’m gonna evolve” meme, so searched for it. Google thinks I meant Riley Reid Squirt” of course, so I’m instead greeted by pics of Riley violently blasting cum everywhere, so move on with my morning.
My wife walks into my computer room and says “I think my phones been hacked, there’s someone searching stuff that isn’t me”. She shows me her phone, and all the previous search history pops up:
Riley Reid Squirtle Riley Reid Squirt find Darklurker farm giant souls
As a 36 year old man, worse than being caught with porn is having to prove to your wife that you were actually searching Pokémon memes, believe me.
tl;dr Wife was logged into my phone, tried to find Riley Reid Squirtle meme, got caught being porn and/or Pokemon fan
EDIT: Just to clarify, she was only very confused as to why these searches were on her phone, not angry that I was responsible for them. Trust me, much easier to explain “oh I was looking for porn” than “oh I was looking for Squirtle with this specific woman’s face cumvolving because Cody’s, a 32 year old man, Squirtle evolved this morning.”
#TIFU #accidentally #searching #Riley #Reid #wifes #phone