**Bird audio hyperlinked at the very end**
I am so dead. My roommate is out of town camping until the end of the weekend and he’s going to kill me when he finds out.
Ok, so we all know the story with [CBAT](https://www.madghosts.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/), no need to go into that. My roommate is out of town for a week, and I have the whole apartment to myself. Four days ago, I (29m) asked my gf (29f) if she would like to enjoy some delicious fun time while blasting CBAT. Her and I are both super weird, and are open to doing this kind of dumb stuff. To no surprise, she laughed and said yes. I just thought it would be funny to experience. To my surprise, it really wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be. It might be that the love I have for her is so powerful, that it left only about 5% of my brain power focusing on the dolphin sounds in the background.
The next day we decided to go at it again, only this time CBAT was a surprise for her. After a few minutes of kissing, I turned on the music and we both started laughing hysterically before getting it on. I even lasted longer than the day before, which I now regret.
Here’s the problem which I stupidly did not even take a second to consider. While my roommate is out of town, I’m taking care of his parrot who dwells in our living room, which shares a very thin door with my bedroom. This is no ordinary parrot. This is a chattering lory (same bird as that red one on youtube who goes “wuewuewue”). This bird does not shut up. He makes so much noise that I’ve naturally learned to ignore him after a year of living with it.
Anyway, somehow it never even crossed my mind that these parrots learn words and sounds and mimic them surprisingly accurately. Before leaving for work yesterday morning, I made some coffee and sat down in the living room for a bit just relaxing and closing my eyes. All of a sudden, I hear the first few notes of CBAT in perfect pitch and rhythm. I opened my eyes and this little dude is starting me dead in the face. 5-10 seconds pass, and I hear it again. I just grabbed my things and left for work immediately. I had to escape, figuring I’d just find a way to fix this or explain this later. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m just dead. My roommate isn’t weird like me and he hates when I say silly things to the bird. When he comes back this weekend, I’m worried he’s gonna give a notice and leave.
Any advice on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. I’m sweating as I’m writing this.
And no, for privacy reasons, I will not be posting a video of the bird.
TL;DR I tried intercourse with my gf twice while blasting CBAT just for the experience, and my roommate’s parrot learned the song. My roommate doesn’t know about this yet.
EDIT: When I get back home from work today, I will sit by the bird and record audio.
EDIT 2: Hyperlinked CBAT above for those who haven’t read the story.
EDIT 3: [Here’s the audio you skeptics](https://voca.ro/16NdnZIFs0d4). Enjoy CBIRD. God help me.
#TIFU #accidentally #teaching #roommates #parrot #sing #CBAT