TIFU – Masturbated too vigorously and have now been admitted to the hospital for over a week

Alt Account for reasons….. Well, this didn’t start today but continues 3 weeks later. Sitting in a hospital bed here, I figured I would write about it.

3 weeks ago, my wife was leaving for a weekend girls’ trip, so I had the house to myself. Sometimes that’s kinda nice. I get to chill, eat pizza, play video games, and ya know… Wank a bit. That weekend, I had been drinking, feeling awfully fresh, and thought about sitting down for a good-fashioned wank. But in my thinking, this would not be a typical wank. I would let this one ride out a bit and see how long I could keep edging myself since I had the time alone. Anyway, get toward finishing about an hour later, and I had the bright idea to bear down internally and clench to see if I could get a better orgasm. Well, this is where I am assuming my downfall came from. Finished, all was well, and I went to bed.

Woke up the following day to this massive pain in the lower shaft/root of the penis. Didn’t think much of it and hoped it would go away and figured I just overdid it… As the days went by, the pain kept increasing, returning to my butthole and entire perineum. At this point, it hurt to get erect, and this was when it started to dawn on me what might have happened.

Finally, the pain outweighed the shame, and I figured I better do something because it was not getting better. I went to urgent care, where they took one look at me and told me I needed to go to the ER. I got to the ER, where they told me it was probably just lousy hemorrhoid, which is even more embarrassing now… They sent me home and told me to follow up with a specialist come Tuesday as Monday was booked.

Throughout the weekend, I ended up in the ER two more times, being in so much pain and unable to manage it on the Vicodin I was given. Underwent multiple CTs on each trip to the ER that weekend. On my last CT, it was noticed that it started to come back as abnormal. I had an odd inflamed colon.

Come Tuesday is the virtual specialist appointment with the Gastroenterologist. That call was reasonably quick as she told me I needed to come to ER right now and be admitted. Great….. I finally got admitted and had to undergo one last CT scan where they pushed contrast through an IV. This time, however, felt different and painful. I asked. While doing this, they missed the vein and flooded my arm with CT contrast which hurt immensely. I complained and was shrugged off until the following day when my arm was completely swollen and could not be moved. At this point, they had switched arms with the IV, and for whatever reason, each time they injected a new med, you could see my skin get more and more red outward from where the IV was placed. This happened several more times. 9 IV replacements in total and about 20 pokes as they can never find a vein. Each of these IVs had the same effect on my arm; each kept making the area red and swollen. Until they finally thought they should run some ultrasound tests, we were still waiting for pathology results from my colon. Come to find out, I now have significant blood clots up and down both arms, and it’s becoming a bit of an emergency.

Today, I still sit on a hospital bed, admitted a week later with no chance of coming home anytime soon. Now with an IV sticking out of my neck into the main artery pumping me full with blood thinners and things to hopefully dissolve the blood clots. They determined that I also have an ischemic colon, which cut the blood flow to 30 CM of my intestinal tract. This seems to improve slowly while the medical staff is increasingly concerned about my blood clots situation.

I don’t know where this goes from here, but damn I guess I F’d up……. This shit is scary.

TLDR. Vigorous orgasm turned into a 3-week painful ordeal, and I was admitted to the hospital, where I still sit.

Edit: Spelling Error.

#TIFU #Masturbated #vigorously #admitted #hospital #week

What do you think?

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