It might be me being a hick that’s out of touch with modern society…but what’s the point of taking a bath/showering if you aint gonna wash your ass?
My cleansing “philosophy” is simple; it’s not some zen ritual designed to align me with the universe and clear my mind of negative energies through fragrance and water.
I’ve gotten dirty, and some of me stinks. So, I’m going to go have a bath/shower for the sole purpose of cleaning that which is dirty, and deodorizing that which stinks. It’s not a ritual, it’s a job and I **will** be judged on my performance each and every time I perform it. I wash everything else first, including my Masculine Recreation District. Then, I soap up the washcloth, reach back and delve into the Waste Disposal Region, and scrub like somebody used it to take a great big stanky dump. Top of crack to the district line entering the MRD.
It’s a forceful eviction of anything and everything living back there that’s been stinking up the neighborhood, and if they die, they die. I’m not trying to scrub hard enough to draw blood, but I’m definitely striving to do the best job I can. Even one failed eviction is a total fail. (If you’re 99% done, you’re still 100% unfinished. Never forget that.)
Really, and this may represent me poorly, but 75% of my bathing process isn’t for fun, leisure, or daydreaming. If I weren’t going to do the best job possible, just knock off the visible dirt off my face, hands, and arms…I wouldn’t bother. I’d handle that in the sink. The purpose of a shower or bath is to make stinky parts unstinky. If that’s not the ultimate goal, why bother?
No, you’re not abnormal. You wash your ass, and those around you surely appreciate it. Among friends with history you might squeak a fart out and be cool, but nobody wants to be near somebody who smells like they’ve either had a fart that brought a friend, or haven’t washed their ass since the majority of cars still had windows you had to wind down with a crank handle on the doors.
We live in a society, washing your balloon knot and the surrounding area is the price of participation.
#Washing #ass #shower