Which M&M Girl is the Hottest?

Now if we’re gonna compare on who’s the hottest one, we’re gonna have to compare personality with it so we can objectively categorize who’s the hottest because someone with good looks, but a ugly personality would never be the hottest one. Thankfully, both Green and Brown are both women who I would gladly take home and introduce to my parents. Let’s start the discussion with Brown M&M. Brown M&M is the smart one. In every commercial, she’s always very professional when speaking to others. You can tell that she plays no games. She reminds me of my cousin, and just like my cousin, I’m very attracted to both of them. Her personality is very high class, like myself. I feel like that adds a bit of sexinesss to her, so that adds a few points to her. Now let’s move on to her looks. The first thing that stands out is her glasses. Now women in glasses have always made me flustered. They are almost always the most beautiful women, and I especially appreciate that beauty she brings to the table with those beautiful four eyes. Next we have the legs. Lord gave mercy, if anyone knows me, they know I love legs. And her legs? Very exquisite. And I will not fib but I’m very into to the kneecaps of a female. And her knees? Let’s just say Mr. Roger’s is in my neighborhood. Lastly, her skin. As you can tell, her being a Brown M&M means she is a black queen. And I have nothing but respect for my black women. All of these feats make Brown M&M an overwhelmingly strong and hot competitor against Green M&M. It’s like those lyrics that Kendrick Lamar said on his famous song “I got 99 problems, BUT I-I WANNA I WANNA EAT THE BROWN M&M ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-” Now let us transition to the Green M&M girl. Now the Green M&M’s personality is kind of the polar opposite of Brown M&M’s personality. While Brown M&M girl is a very professional and discrete woman, Green M&M girl is a WHORE. She is raunchy, outlandish, borderline scandalous. She’s very explicit in her nature, but I feel like that part of her appeal. And honestly, she might be too much for me to handle. A M&M is too much for me to handle. But I’d gladly take the challenge. Moving on to her looks. Her looks aaaarrrrrreee *fades into extreme and excessive moaning.* *Clears throat* Sorry, that was very unprofessional of me. To continue, her looks are very stunning. She shows a lot more skin than Brown M&M her hourglass figure combined with her very seductive poses and face. It may seem that she has taken the cake for the hottest M&M. However, recently M&M, the organization chocolate factory, has given her a new look, replacing her gorgeous high heels with Stan Smiths. Great. How am I supposed to beat my meat to her now? It is absolutely lunatic how much a difference a woman’s shoes can make in her level of attractiveness. Now if she was in her bare feet it would be a different story. I’m also into feet. But now since she’s just in sneakers, it really detracts a few points for me. I feel as if her natural beauty his digressed for me without the heels, not that I wouldn’t still hold her hand and snuggle with her in a snuggie if I had the chance, but the heels were a very big part if her charm. And so I concurr who is the hottest M&M girl after my analytical analysis. Is it the professionally charismatic Brown M&M, or the passionate Green M&M? No matter who I pick, I’ll still be a disappointment to my family. Now for the conclusion, the hottest M&M girl is… neither. You see, objectifying women is wrong, whether they be people or M&M’s. You shouldn’t rank women based on their looks. That is very shallow, and you’re being selfish towards their feelings. Nobody wants others constantly only looking at you for your goodies and not who you are as a person. That’s what I like to call SICK. Men, you are SICK. And respect females. Stop objectifying women. Stand up. And also Green M&M.


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