Why Primarina and Gardevoir from Pokemon is the God of Sex and Other Interesting Facts about Pokemon

I’m going to start off this post by paraphrasing here; Each generation has its own pokewaifu. Primarina is simply better than the lot of them. You may have heard stories of Vaporeon, liquid enough to turn itself white of cum, heard tales of Flareon, able to warm up your dick faster than a microwave, and stories of Vaporeon, which kills you the moment you climax. No. These are all fodder-based furrytraps. Do not be fooled. The real masters of Pokemon Sex are Primarina and Gardevoir. First, lets take a look at Primarina; specifically her Pokedex entry. ” For Primarina, every battle’s a stage. Its singing and the dancing of its balloons will mesmerize the audience. “,
With its mouth, it makes sonic waves that sound like beautiful singing. It uses the sonic waves to control its water balloons. ”

This obviously means that even if it is impenetrable, it easily has the best mouth game in all of the Pokemon, being able to use sonic waves to be a human vibrator for your dick/vag. Now, you might be saying, is that it? No. Since Primarina can control water itself, that means you can even have water giving you a blowjob. It can learn Play Rough, which I don’t have to explain along with Liquidification which means said Pokemon can literally turn into water, being able to serve multiple genitalia, possibly an entire beach’s worth if it really tried. It can learn Baby Doll Eyes for extra effect, and for the finisher, it can learn Draining Kiss by TM, which, I’m sure you can piece together.


Gardevoir: The real one, now, you see, whilst Primarina has the best mouthgame, Gardevoir outclasses it in everything else. Whilst it may look basic, it’s a Psychic-type; this is important. All psychic types automatically are the superiors at handjobs and fingering- using their telekinesis, they could very likely make you cum without any if not no effort. Now for the reason Gardevoirs special: it can read your mind. This may seem like a bad thing at first, but no. Gardevoir will create waves of psychokinetic energy to protect its trainer- even equating to a small black hole. It will give its life for you, so as the process of elimination, it will also give pleasure to you. Advancing onto its moveset, it can learn many, many things. It can learn Draining Kiss simply by level up removing the questionable want to even ask for the TM, can also learn Future Sight to know what you want before you even ask it, and can learn
Endure by TM if you want to get rough with it (Bit low of a base defense stat.) It can learn Attract which basically as seen in the show gets ALL male pokemon hard, unless your clueless, it can learn Wonder Room if you want to be particularly rough with it, Teleport if you got a little too handsy in public, and its Mega form even practically has a wedding dress, not to mention the far increased stats making it tank more. Even if you’re drained of all your cum, it can use Healing Pulse/Life Dew and instantly get you back in the game.


Overall, I plan to make a part two of this, as I see LOTS of misinformation in the pokemon sex world. Goodbye.

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