The lawyer stops the car with fear in his eyes. His heart pumps fast. “Oh my God, did I just roadkill an animal? My name will be stained, forever!”
He leaves his car and goes to check the front. The headlights are illuminating an armadillo, rolled inside his shell. He gives the animal a nudge with his foot, and the animal squirms and unfolds. It tries to move but the lawyer quickly grabs it by its shell. The armadillo keeps wriggling its small feet helplessly.
“I’m gonna put you in my trunk, pal. I can’t let anyone see an injured armadillo near a road I drove on. I’ll drop you off at some other road.”
The lawyer puts the armadillo in his trunk and gets back to driving. Not long after, he gets to another road, but then he thinks to himself: “Fuck. What if a cop asks me to open my trunk?”
He barely finished his thought when a police car light flashed its siren behind him. The lawyer carefully leads his vehicle to the side road and stops, with the cop right behind him.
An officer walks out of the vehicle with a flashlight and a hand on his holstered pistol, and approaches the lawyer’s car.
“Good night, mister. May I see your documents and the car’s papers, please?”
The lawyer nervously hands him every single document he could find, so much so that the officer feels overwhelmed.
After checking everything, the cop backs off a bit from the window and asks the lawyer to exit the vehicle. Now sweating and flustered, the lawyer complies.
“Mister, please open your trunk.”
The lawyer is now trembling, both hands and legs. He slowly proceeds to the trunk and opens it.
“What the fuck,” says the officer as he sees an armadillo inside, trying to dig his way out of the car. “Are you trafficking this animal?”
“No sir, no, I, I…” The lawyer stammers as an idea comes to his mind. “Actually, this is my domestic animal.”
“What? Prove it.”
“Here,” the lawyer grabs the armadillo by its shell. “I’ll put it on the ground and it’ll walk that way,” he points to his right. “Then, I’ll whistle and he’ll come right back.”
“Pfft. Alright. If that doesn’t happen, you’ll rot in jail forever. I am an animal lover.”
The lawyer puts the armadillo down and it quickly runs away, in the direction he mentioned.
After a while, the lawyer whistles. Then whistles again.
The armadillo doesn’t come back.
“Well then, asshole, where is the armadillo?” Asks the cop.