A Lutheran moves into a neighborhood of Roman Catholics on the first day of Lent.

That Friday, the man grills out on his patio, filling the neighborhood with the mouthwatering aroma of seared steak. All his neighbors, being practicing Catholics, are obliged to abstain from eating meat on Fridays during Lent. Needless to say, they aren’t particularly happy about it. The next Friday, once again the aroma of steak over an open flame wafts through the air. The neighborhood is in a tizzy. So they hatch a plan. They will convert this Lutheran to eliminate the source of their temptation. The entire neighborhood proselytizes to him in shifts, bringing by cookies, delivering his mail, helping weed his flowerbeds. They kill him with kindness, all to set up a visit by Father O’Malley to deliver the closing pitch. They are successful; the Lutheran converts. At his confirmation – which is fast tracked to be before the following Friday – Father O’Malley declares before the convert, “You were born a protestant, you were raised a protestant, but today, you are a Catholic!” The neighborhood rejoices. Their temptation has been eliminated. But come that Friday, once more the irresistible aroma of steaks on the grill wafts through the air of the neighborhood. Everyone in the neighborhood gathers outside of the convert’s privacy fence, muttering to themselves about who would be the one to snoop. Finally one of the old parishioners cranes his neck above the fence line. What does he see but his recently converted neighbor flipping a thick, juicy, sizzling porterhouse on his grill as he exclaims, “You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, but today, you are a fish!”

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