A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

What do you think?

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  1. An Englishman, a Welshman and an Indian man are waiting outside the maternity ward.

    The midwife comes out and says ‟I’m very sorry gentleman, but there’s been a bit of a mix up – we put all your new babies in the same room, and now we do not know which baby is which. Please could you go into the delivery suite and pick which baby you think is yours.”

    So the three men go in, and see three babies in three incubators. The Englishman says ‟I will go first, naturally”, and walks straight over to the baby with dark skin. ‟I will take this one.”

    ‟Ahem” says the Indian man, ‟I think that one is probably mine. Shouldn’t you choose one of the babies with light skin?”

    ‟What?” says the Englishman. ‟And risk ending up with a fucking Welsh kid?”

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