A sailor reported for duty on a ship set to spend months at sea.

On the first day the captain takes the new recruit on a tour of the ship.
He shows him the engine room, the helm, the quarters taking him all over the ship. They end the tour in the captain’s office where the captain closes the door behind him and tells the sailor “Oh and one more thing, Seeing as we’ll be away from land for months and there are no women on board, I know things can get… lonely. So we have this ‘arrangement’ with the Chinese cook, say the word and I’ll set you up.”
The young man is mortified “I’m a straight man and I would never ever think of doing something like that”
The captain nods and says “Just so you know”

A few months later the young man meets the captain out on deck one evening and they get to talking.
The captain asks about his service and how things are going and just as they say their good nights he adds “Oh and just so you know, that offer with the Chinese cook still stands” the young man refuses politely.

Few more months go by and with no sign of going to shore any time soon, the young sailor gets desperate and on a chance encounter asks the captain for a quick word.
“Excuse me sir I was wondering if that offer with the Chinese cook is still available?” He asks. “Well off course, I’ll set it right up!” The captain answers. “Just one thing, I feel really embarrassed about the whole thing, could we keep it between us two?”
The captain thinks for a second and say “I’m afraid not, at least seven people would have to know about it”
“SEVEN?? Why seven people?” He asks.

“Well there’s you, me and the cook, that’s three already” he holds three fingers up.
“And the four guys that need to hold him down, because he REALLY doesn’t like it.”

What do you think?

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  1. Thank you for this. You put in a lot of work typing it out. I have heard a different version where the new guy’s response is “Thank you, but I’m not in to that shit.” And the punchline is “… the cook’s not in to that shit either!”

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