A dwarf walks into a feed store and starts a conversation with the owner, it comes up that he’s looking to buy a horse. The owner tells him about his friend who owns a horse ranch just outside of town. The owner calls up his friend and says “I’ve sent a dwarf with a speech impediment to see you. He wants to buy a horse”
Sure enough the dwarf turns up at the ranch the next day. Dwarf says “I’d wike to buy a horf” The rancher asks him “Do you want a male horse or a female horse?” The dwarf replies “A female horf” The rancher shows him a mare, “this girl is 3 years old and quite a fine horse.” “Nith wooking horf” says the dwarf, “can you hewp me get a betta wook at her eyth?” The rancher sighs, but picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes, then puts him back down. “Dose are helfy wooking eyth” says the dwarf. “Can you hewp me get a betta wook at her teef?” Again the rancher sighs, but lifts up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth, then sets him back down. “Nith, nith. Can you hewp me see her eerth?”, the dwarf asks. By now the rancher is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears, then sets him down. “Vewy nith eerth, she wooks helfy” says the dwarf, “Now can I see her twat?”
With this request the rancher is getting pissed off, he lifts up the dwarf and smooshes his head deep between the horse’s legs, holding him there for a second before dropping him to his feet.
After spitting and staggering and wiping his face, the dwarf says “Pewhaps I should re-fwaze that… can I umm, see her wun awound a wittle bit??”