So there was this man who had only one ambition in his life: he wanted to live in San Francisco and drive cable cars. So he moved there, and studied, and took a test to become a cable car driver. He failed. Studied some more, took the test again. Again he failed. Finally, on the third attempt, he passed, he was now a licensed cable car driver, and it was the happiest moment of his life. For a year, he was on cloud nine, driving cable cars up and down the hills of San Francisco.
But on his one-year anniversary of getting hired as a cable car driver, he made a terrible decision: he decided to celebrate by going out drinking, and ended up staying out all night getting wasted. When he showed up for work the next day, he was still drunk, and he didn’t set the brake and a cable car careened out of control and slammed into a crowd of people, killing several of them.
It was a HUGE scandal. In fact, it was such a big scandal that the state of California decided to make an example of him: they were going to sentence him to DEATH. I know, CA doesn’t have the death penalty but they BROUGHT IT BACK just to execute this guy (they take cable cars very seriously in San Francisco, you see.) So they put him in the electric chair, and throw the switch…
…nothing happens. The guy’s fine. They check all their connections, tighen the clamps on the guy’s head, throw the switch again…nothing happens. Now they’re annoyed. They add batteries, extra capacitors–they want to make sure this guy fries. Throw the switch again…lights dim all over the place, sparks shower the execution chamber, but still, the guy’s alive.
They add MORE batteries, more power, triple-check everything, add a backup generator, so that when they throw the switch lights dim all over the CITY and sparks shower everywhere…but amazingly the guy is uninjured.
Finally, they decide, “well, we’re just going to commute your sentence to life imprisonment but tell us, how on Earth did you survive? You should have been carbonized by this point.” The guy shrugs his shoulders and says,
“I dunno, I guess I’m just a poor conductor.”