I want you to tell your best Chuck Norris joke

I just love them, so it’s your moment and unleash your imagination!

What do you think?

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  1. Chuck Norris applied for a job as a lumberjack.

    “Can you tell us about your past experience?”

    “Well, when I was a young boy I grew up in the Sahara forest, then my dad gave me my first axe.”

    “You mean the Sahara desert?”

    “That what they call it nowadays?”

  2. In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit, these men promptly escaped to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if it doesn’t involve Chuck Norris, maybe you can hire the A-Team

  3. Hope this satisfies you for a few minutes – Enjoy

    Chuck norris was once bitten by a king cobra while on an expedition in the amazon.

    After 5 days of agonizing pain, the cobra died

    You didn’t find Chuck Norris…he found you!!!

    Chuck Norris had a street named after him but it had to be changed because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

    There is no face behind Chuck’s beard, there’s another fist

    Chuck Norris wasn’t put in watch dogs, Watch dogs was buit around him

    Chuck Norris once ate Screws from a bowl ……….. WITHOUT MILK

    Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

    The boogeyman checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before he goes to sleep

    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

    When Alexander bell invented the phone he had 3 missed calls from chuck norris

    Chuck Norris is the only man alive who could survive a threesome with Brigitte Nielsen and Grace Jones!!

    Chuck Norris’s computer has no “backspace” button, Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes.

    Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

    Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

    Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

    Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.

    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

    The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.

    The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay five pounds to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

    Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies…………… As The Force.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    Be afraid when you see Chuck Norris, be VERY afraid when you don’t see Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired

    In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place.”

    Aliens are real, they’re just hiding from Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.

    Deaf people can hear Chuck Norris

    It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

    Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.

    How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.

    Chuck Norris can squeeze apple juice out of a banana.

    Chuck Norris completed a 500 piece puzzle with 300 pieces.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

  4. A venomous snake once bit chuck norris after a few days of agonizing pain, the snake died.

    Chuck norris once threw a grenade. 12 people died. Then the grenade blew up.

    Chuck norris was supposed to die over a year ago, death is too afraid to tell him.

    Chuck norris can find my long lost child. I’m a virgin

    Chuck norris can prove the absence of ninjas

  5. When it rains Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet… the rain gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

    Chuck Norris can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

  6. In a battle between Chuck Norris and an army of Chuck Norris clones throwing molten metal, Chuck still wins.

    Chuck Norris is so amazing that he beats himself multiple times. This ended and also established his reign forever.

    All must bow to the almighty Chuck 🙏

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