Roman Polanski, Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump walk into a London pub.

Polanski goes up the bar and orders a white wine.

“No, mate. Not gonna serve yez,” says the publican.

“But I’m Roman Polansky! I directed Rosemary’s Baby! I won two Oscars I didn’t even show up to collect!”

“Yeh, but you raped that 12-year-old girl, didn’t yez? Yer no damn good! Get out of me pub before I have the lads toss yeh!”

Polansky leaves. Weinstein goes up to the bar and orders a double Scotch on the Rocks.

“No, mate. Not gonna serve yez,” says the publican.

“But I’m Harvey Weinstein! I’ve produced more Oscar-winning pictures than anyone!”

“Yeh, but you forced all them actresses to have sex with you, didn’t yez? Yer no damn good! Get out of me pub before I have the lads toss yez!”

So Weinstein leaves. Trump goes up to bar and orders a Diet Coke.

“No, mate – ahh, Hell! “ said the publican, and pours him a Diet Coke.

“How come you served me when you wouldn’t serve my friends?”
Trump asks.

“Well,” the publican says, “at least when you screwed the American people, they asked for it.”

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    In antiquity, publicans were public contractors, in whose official capacity they often supplied the Roman legions and military, managed the collection of port duties, and oversaw public building projects.

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