A rich older woman had an addiction to plastic surgery and would go to her surgeons office regularly for little touchups here and there. One day she went in and asked about a full facelift. Her surgeon suggested, instead of getting the facelift, he could install the knob for her.
What’s the knob? She asked…
It’s a small device I implant on the back of your head. Every year, you give the knob a 1/4 turn and it will tighten up the skin on your face. You’ll never need to come back for facial issues!
The woman is ecstatic and decides to go ahead with the procedure. After recovery, the plastic surgeon gives the knob a 1/4 turn and her features immediately improve. Less wrinkles, the eyelids are no longer as droopy as they were and the extra skin under her jaw tightened nicely. She gave him her thanks and went on her way.
About 3 years later, the woman came back to the office and demanded to see the doctor.
Look at these giant bags under my eyes!! What is going on here? You told me this knob would keep my face tight and beautiful!
The doctor looked, gasped and asked her how often she’d been turning the knob.
Oh, I didn’t feel like once a year was enough, so I was giving the knob a full turn every 6 months.
Ahh, the doctor replies – that explains it. Ma’am, those aren’t bags under your eyes, they’re your breasts.
Oh hell, the woman exclaimed, I suppose that explains the goatee.