If you were the first person on Mars, what would your “One small step for man, one giant leap for humanity” quote be?
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How did you botch quoting the quote?
“I’m descending the ladde…wait. What the hell? Houston, there’s something under the sand. Something is moving under the sand! Oh Christ! It’s…there’s a scaly giant tentacle of some kind coming ou….*bzzz* *pop* *static*”
“I’m just fucking with you Houston. We’ve landed. Place looks like a dump now but I bet it’ll turn out nice in the end.”
NASA, SpaceX… if you want my ideas, then you best pay me for them.
“Huh, whose footprints are these?”
In the grander scope of human history, one day we will look back with marvel at how much humanity accomplished with so little.
“At last we will reveal ourselves to the jedi, at last we will have revenge.”
“HAHA! SCREW YOU LINDA! YOU SAID ID NEVER GET ANYWHERE IN LIFE! WELL GUESS WHAT? IM ON FUCKIN M A R S !
Whether we wanted it or not, we’ve stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars. So let’s get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta’aurc. From what I can gather he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank outside of Rubicon. He’s well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.
“Didn’t think this is how I’d be spending my Wednesday”
“One small step for man, and…I can’t giant leap here? Fuck, the moon’s gravity was so much cooler. And…NASA was that live? I can start over.”
“I did in fact survive on a deserted planet by farming in my own shit. Yes, it’s actually worse than it sounds. So, let’s not talk about that ever again.”
Start my line, then mess it up, turn off to the side and say “I’m sorry, Mr. Kubrick, can we do another take? I’ll get it this time, I promise.”
“Now this is podracing!”
I’ll get it this time, I promise.”
Let’s try not to fuck up this planet like we did the last one…
“Fuck you Elon Musk. We’re not establishing a colony here.” or just something about how humanity is beautiful and this is a great way to show it
“If a man can step on the moon, so can a woman.”
“Don’t drink the water.”
Man, I really need to pee.
came for the cheese, left disappointed
Hey Elon I got here before you bitch
“Oh shit, what is– **static noises** — shut the door!”
“My god! It’s cheese! It’s all cheese!”
Who’s that over there?
“Hey guys! What are all these little pod thingys?”
“Damn you! God damn you all to Hell!”
heh. it looks like cheese
I step out of the ship. Crouch down and grab a handful. Another figure climbs down the ladder. “Gawd dangit Dale! I was supposed to be first! Then I fling the Martian dirt into his face and run. Mars pocket sand! “Sh-sh-sha!
For souls before, and sols to come.
“This isn’t that great”
Da fuck was I thinking?
Nanny, Nanny, Boo, Boo, Elon suck my dick!
“Suck it Elon”
Hell yeah, I’m gonna be the first guy to whack off on Mars!
Where the hot Martian bitches at?
Where’s the Taco Bell at?
That’s one small step for man….
…. And one giant dick in my pants.
To borrow an old Robert Klein joke, “COCA-COLA!”