How do you have sex with someone who has herpes without catching it?

How do you have sex with someone who has herpes without catching it?

What do you think?

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  1. I did it once. Took a test after, all good. The antivirals lower the chances by quite a bit.

    Try to remember that there’s a human being on the other side of this who is dealing with stigma and it’s very difficult. Show some compassion towards them (not pity) if you can.

  2. I don’t have any advice because I don’t have type 2 herpes and haven’t ever slept with someone who told me they did… but the amount of cruelty and stigma in this thread is crazy! Any adult who has sex should be able to have a conversation about sexual health without disrespect. OP’s potential partner could have gotten it from someone who lied to her or didn’t know they had it- she doesn’t deserve to be treated like she’s dirty.

  3. Speaking as someone with herpes….. you pray.

    1. We may be shedding even when we don’t have an active outbreak.

    2. Condoms are not really effective at all.

    Your best bet is if the infected person is 100% committed to suppressive therapy (taking Valtrex everyday, exercising, and watching their diet for arginine)

    Never never fuck with an active outbreak.

  4. I don’t have herpes but have had partners in the past that have. If they are not presenting you use protection and they take medication it is pretty low risk. PrEp (used for HIV protection) is also shown to reduce the transmission of Herpes. the truth is lots of people have herpes and people who have casual sex should be taking precautions but also it’s not a big deal and symptoms are manageable. If you are worried, do like my 9th grade biology teacher said “Inspect the penis before you surf the sheets”

  5. I have a girl who says she hasn’t had an outbreak in years. I myself am 100% clean at 44 years old. I didn’t know if Blowjobs and Condoms were ok? I honestly have zero knowledge here. I’d love a BJ, but not at an expense of risking catching it. I didn’t know if “as long as it’s not an outbreak”? That’s why I’m asking

  6. If they’re not active and it’s a one-night thing, it’s probably not even worth considering. As of 2015, about 67% of the global population under 50 was estimated to have some form of herpes, so there’s a good chance you already have it and don’t even realize. There are times even I forget I have it when I go 4 years without an outbreak. I usually don’t bother to disclose unless A: I’m active or B: we’re pursuing something long-term. Yes, it’s still technically has the potential to be contagious when it’s not active, but it’s…. unlikely, to say the least. And I can say that from experience. I only got it when I was younger and it was dark and my partner failed to disclose that they were active, but I guess I should be glad it’s only the oral form, which is a rare stroke of luck for me considering everything else we did that night. I’m really not sure I understand all the fearmongering and stigma about the single most benign long-term illness imaginable. It’s on the level of eyelash mites to me.

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