How do you learn life lessons without being traumatized for life by them?

How do you learn life lessons without being traumatized for life by them?

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  1. I’m not sure you can ever avoid trauma, or pain, it’s a part of life that helps shape you as a person. But you can control your emotions and reactions. Ultimately, we can only control what we do, not others.
    Hold the best days close, they hep guide you through the darkest ones.

  2. There’s a difference between being traumatized by something and having an experience that bothers you. When we find the world doesn’t work the way we thought it did, it’s naturally uncomfortable but discomfort is what gets us to move and change. There are some memories that SHOULD make us uncomfortable. This is one of the ways we learn life lessons. I agree with one of the previous posters— you can also learn life lessons from paying attention to the wisdom of others.

    Trauma is more deeply distressing and disturbing. Trauma survivors can be affected by symptoms like being overly vigilant for danger, having frequent nightmares, and much more. Trauma does not have to actively harm a person for life— it’s definitely possible to heal. In my experience working with trauma victims, sometimes that healing comes through correcting the distorted “life lesson” the person learned (“I don’t matter” can turn into “I do matter”; “I am powerless” can turn into “I can control what I can”). This correction sometimes comes through therapy, sometimes comes through healing experiences like finding a group that makes you feel safe and accepted. Sometimes it comes from purposely taking actions to prove the negative thought wrong. Some heal from being able to speak openly about what happened to them, or even express themselves through art. Healing looks different for every person.

  3. Listen to your parents or other adults when they talk about it. I didn’t listen about driving, and now I have a 2 inch bolt in my ankle holding everything together after getting in a wreak that broke my leg, dislocated my testicle, and gave me brain damage.

  4. Self compassion and self kindness. You are not your mistakes. The fact that you can admit mistakes and see them as lessons shows you are capable of growth and learning.
    Celebrate that.

  5. I think of them as character building and think of cliches such as “smooth seas don’t make good sailors” and “a ship in harbour is safe but that’s not what ships were made for” etc..

    I do feel they make me a stronger and more well rounded person. They make me more well equipped for the future and better able to understand the world

  6. Eventually, you know what to avoid knowing. I mean that the world falls into certain patterns, and you’ll eventually know what patterns are upsetting or traumatizing for you. It takes a bit of morbid curiosity about the bad things humans are capable of before you develop a sense for this. Your mind basically tells you “I know where this is going” and you can nope out of things before they hurt you

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