How do you manage the guilt around leaving a partner who had done nothing wrong, just wasn’t the right fit, despite being genuinely an objectively fantastic human being?

How do you manage the guilt around leaving a partner who had done nothing wrong, just wasn’t the right fit, despite being genuinely an objectively fantastic human being?

What do you think?

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  1. If it didn’t work, it didn’t work

    There’s no right or wrong in that situation it’s objectively factual to express where you are emotionally

    There is no guilt, guilt would be present if you stayed due to some degree of pity and clean break is better for all those involved even if they don’t realise it themselves right away as long as you were evidently clear when breaking up it wasn’t anything to do with themselves or how they acted but a personal decision of you personally not seeing it as the fit you wanted

  2. There’s really no “easy” way. It’s not fair to the person that isn’t romantically attracted to the other to stay in the relationship just because they feel bad. And it’s not fair to the other person that the person they’re with are just with them because of pity. The guilt of it will vanish with time, and when they find someone that makes them happy. The guilt is there because you feel like you failed them and it’s hard to do that to someone who you truly respect. But in the long term, big picture it’s truly what’s best for both parties involved. Additionally, someone else’s happiness is the responsibility of that individual, not someone else. So don’t feel guilty. You did the hard thing and made the right call for the long run.

  3. You shouldn’t feel guilty, is it better to be with him/her and don’t act as before, without any affection and stuff and they will eventually get hurt at the end, if you don’t want them to get hurt it’s better to end the relationship, or is it better to end it, say the things how they are, they will accept it better than not giving them affection during the relationship. I would rather break up then to be stuck and feel unhappy and making the person unhappy as well.

  4. It’d be more selfish to stay with them if they are a bad fit. So, breaking up is the best decision for both of our lives moving forward so we can both find happiness

  5. I think it’s a little arrogant to feel guilty. If you didn’t want to be with that person, they are better without you. This way they can find someone who wants them and is the right fit.

  6. You remind yourself that you did what you had to, to protect your happiness and their’s. By setting them free, they are able to find someone who is more compatible with them and who adores them just how they are. It is ethical to not keep them in a relationship where you are inwardly not present and not happy.

    You also honour your own desires, which is an authentic way to live.

  7. It’s way better to be honest with both yourself and your partner than to compartmentalize and essentially lie to both of y’all. Also you could end up getting resentful and hurting one or both of you, inadvertently or not. I think it is extremely loving to tell the truth to yourself and your partner and to admit when something doesn’t feel right. There is something right waiting for both of y’all. Look at the bigger picture and do it out of love.

  8. Why should there be guilt in stopping a relationship that does not work ?

    it does not matter if you consider the other party as being a fantastic human being or the worst person ever.

    If anything, there should be guilt staying in said relationship, knowing it cant work and making that other person waste the most valuable thing anyone has :


  9. No guilt. You remind yourself that your lovely ex-partner deserves the absolute best in life. They DESERVE to be in a 100% full, utterly loving and committed relationship with a spouse who adores them – and that’s not something that you can offer them.

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