If the person who hurt you most in life was on their deathbed and asked for forgiveness, would you give it to them?

If the person who hurt you most in life was on their deathbed and asked for forgiveness, would you give it to them?

What do you think?

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  1. No. If they couldn’t be arsed to try to make amends until they were **literally fucking dying**, they aren’t sorry *enough*. After all, if they truly were sorry, why would they wait until I could no longer hold them accountable for their actions because they will soon be dead.

    In an instance like that, forgiveness is more for *their* benefit rather than mine. They don’t deserve to die with a ‘clear conscience’ in an instance like that.

  2. I have been there, and I did not. It was combined with a deathbed confession. I know the apology wasn’t for me, it was for her, but there is only so much people can swallow at one time.

    I did manage to keep it a secret when I could have destroyed her reputation. Seriously, fuck you mom for doing that.

  3. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness releases your resentment. I think it was Carrie Fisher who said “Resentment is like taking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.” Letting go of my hostility by “forgiving” is something that’s good for me. Trust is a whole different matter. I might forgive that person, but I would never ever trust them again, ever.

  4. Yes because even though he did something very hurtful to me, I can still look back and try to understand how he felt and why he acted that way. Every action has a reaction. Unfortunately ours led to a really crappy place that I would do anything to come back from.

  5. No. If they weren’t a good person before, they certainly didn’t suddenly turn into one the second they fell ill. Had they been genuine in wanting to apologize and resolve whatever pain they caused me, they had a lifetime to do so, yet chose not to. A deathbead apology is for them, not for me, and them wanting to pass with a clear conscience or whatever is not my responsibility. If it’s that important to them, maybe they should’ve thought about that before they knowingly tried ruining someone else’s life.

  6. Nope. The person who was supposed to raise and protect me made the first 15 years of my life a living hell. Which made me more prone to falling into other abusive scenarios later. I am 25 now and still unpacking shit, still remembering shit that happened to me. She can go fuck herself with a pole saw for all I care.

  7. I already did.

    My ex wife left me for another guy. Had a list of excuses for their affair. “He’s my soul-mate” and “we were meant to be together” and all the usual shit. It hurt me pretty bad. I loved her more than anything, and she ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

    Not long after we got divorced, her “soul-mate” turned out to be less than Mr. Wonderful, and they broke up. She moved on to another guy. We’ll call him “Dave” because his name was Dave. They stayed together for awhile, and even got engaged. Dave seemed like a good guy, and was good to our daughter.

    Then one night, I got a call from my ex. She was crying so hard she could barely speak. Turns out Dave had been cheating on her. He gave her all the same excuses she’d given me back when she was stepping out. In some cases word for word.

    She called to apologize, because she finally felt the pain I’d felt when she was cheating. I could have said “serves you right” or “fuck you” or whatever and hung up the phone.

    But I didn’t. I talked her through it, told her she’d be okay, and forgiveness was implicit. I’d long since moved on, and at that moment she needed healing and support.

    After that, I didn’t talk to her for many years…until our daughter’s wedding, in fact…but we’re okay now. Not friends, but all that stuff is water under a very scorched bridge.

  8. hahahahahaha!!

    that’ll be a hell no from me.

    not because i am unable to forgive but i refuse to let that person live in my head rent free.

    also,fuck no on even being anywhere near that person. why would i even entertain that request?? i’d be gone with no contact.

  9. No?
    My bio father chose to abandon me when I was two.
    I’m choosing to abandon him now that I’m 18.
    If the bastard wishes to beg forgiveness he can kneel and beg, but just as his God refuses to give judgement to mortals still on this dreaded Earth so too will I send him cold and alone to face his bitter punishment as the flatline bird sings it’s sorrowful tune.

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