If you suspected your neighbor of beating his wife and she has visible trauma what would you do?

If you suspected your neighbor of beating his wife and she has visible trauma what would you do?

What do you think?

40 Comments

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  1. Nothing probably. I grew up with neighbors like that. The few times my mom tried to intervene, the woman getting beat cussed her out and told her to mind her business. My biological mother chose getting beat over keeping custody of me. Women who stay are too emotionally damaged to see clearly, they are often beyond anyone saving, if they want help they have to make the effort themselves. No one can make them.

  2. I would give her information on women’s shelters, financial aid, and job placement programs. Also, if I’m not mistaken, restraining orders are free in every, if not most, states. My mom just “dealt with it” for years because she felt helpless; like there was a circle of not being able to do one thing because she needed another. She needs to know about the programs that do work together so that everything is taken care of in one swoop.

  3. Call the police every time. She may cover for him, she may not.

    They’ll have records of every visit. If something worse happens down the line he’s gonna have a hard time weaseling his way out of it.

    Tell them what you hear. You’re a witness.

  4. A few years ago in Christmas Eve I was my girlfriend just relaxing at home. She heard some screaming, looked at the window and saw
    My neighbor beating the crap out of his wife. I cam out running with my phone on my hands calling 911. He tried to grab my phone and then punch me in the face. I beat the shit out of the asshole and send him to a hospital. Next day, the wife and the guy mother came knocking to my door to ask me to not press charges against him. You should have seen her face. I told her that she should get help and move on. After a couple of days they moved out of that place.

  5. A lot of people are telling you to call the police, and that’s not a bad idea, though it would be wisest to do it anonymously. Although, frankly, im my experience, they’re pretty unlikely to do much about it.

    I would suggest trying to get closer to this woman. You don’t have to become her best friend, but it’s good for her to see you as a safe space, someone to confide in, etc. Oftentimes abused women have nowhere to go, no friends, and have probably been alienated from their families. If she knows you’re a safe person to stay with/report to/so on, then that does a lot for her.

    The police have often done little for my abused friends, but having a spot to crash when things go south does wonders.

  6. I wouldn’t do anything to be honest. Not my problem.

    I’ve seen more than a few guys get caught up trying to intervene in a DV situation and end up in the hospital or worse.

    And then the wife or GF is crying and begging as the cops take the abusive BF in.

    Your own safety isn’t worth it bro

  7. Fuck his shit up.

    Get some buddies together to buy a couple of ounces of el puro. Plant it in his car.

    With enough weight to get a trafficking charge and no one to roll over on, they’ll max you out first offense.

    See ya in prison wife beater.

  8. I don’t think I’d ever be close enough to my neighbor to recognize visible trauma, then if I happened to, I’d convince myself that I was wrong. I’d would most likely do absolutely nothing. Sadly, unless you’re really close to someone it’s not like you’re going to get her to leave. She’s probably been isolated away from people who care about her. Even if the cops show up, she won’t be pressing charges. Nobody else will save her. At some point she’ll be moved by something unrelated to her relationship and she’ll figure out what she has to do. Hopefully….. idk. Maybe she’ll spend her life being tormented. God forbid, they have kids. Poor bastards, all of them.

  9. If I see that, I’d go to the dude’s house and kick him in the balls. As he is writhing in pain, I take the wife and call the police. Then I continuously hit him with a belt and say

    ​

    “Now you know how it feels, bitch.”

  10. Wow these are all horrible responses.

    Calling the police will not result in anything unless there’s actually an active altercation happening that they can stop. Most women do not want to give a statement or go to court. If and when a woman leaves, she should be able to do it out of her own choice and not have that situation thrust on her, she’s far more likely to go back. Trauma bonds are very real. It takes an average of 7 tries before finally being able to leave an abusive partner. Without any resources it’s unlikely she will leave. The best things to do are to let you know you’re there for her if she needs anything, give her the local phone number and email address of a womens shelter in the area. If you can maybe assist in a job search or hiding money. Help her create a safety/escape plan. And the biggest piece of advice, is to not judge. If you’re just inserting yourself into this situation to end up not helping her deal with the fallout, leave it alone. If you’re on board to help until 2 months later you’ve listened to her stories and you can hear the fighting still, and she’s still staying and you get frustrated and wipe your hands clean of it, leave it alone. Only actually reach out a hand if you’re able to make a commitment to helping her through it, because being another person who she can’t trust and who abandons her isn’t going to help her mental health.

  11. My only tip is do not give her anything on paper!!! The first thing I learned when trained to help DV victims is to not give them pamphlets, papers with numbers, emails, etc. if they get found, the abuse is way worse. It sounds counterproductive to not give them educational materials and support numbers, but I promise it’s better to not do it. Make sure she memorizes things if need be.

  12. It may not be abusive but if it is, you will probably be disappointed to find out that she’ll go right back to him 9 out of 10 times, and she will probably get very upset with you if she finds out that you called the cops. There’s a reason that she’s still with him. A lot of them choose to stay with people who hit them even if they have options to leave. There are psychological reasons for that unfortunately.

  13. I’d call the police, both local and state authorities. I wouldn’t get personally involved, but I’d report every instance of abuse that I know of.

  14. I would pay him a visit with a few friends and tell him that what he is doing is not cool, ask for the lady is she ok and would she like to leave and report him to the police.

    If he answers violently then violence is what he is gonna get. Beating someone is not cool, no matter who you are

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