People who had almost attempted suicide, what thought stopped you from ending your lives?

People who had almost attempted suicide, what thought stopped you from ending your lives?

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  1. I was about to put a shotgun to my head Christmas Eve in 2006.

    I decided that i wanted to see the stars one last time so i did and i just said aloud “If anything or anyone is out there, give me a sign” or something to that effect.

    I saw a shooting star and i kinda that was my sign.

    I met my wife a few months later and we have been together since 2007.

  2. As someone who attempted and failed, and had their family experience the horror of that, I feel like my mom’s second hand depression and fear of losing me has convinced me that if I killed myself she would either be ruined or she would follow suit. And that is the only thing that has consistently kept me on this side of the dirt.

  3. I called out to the universe something like: “universe, I need help, and it needs to be right now. I can’t stop myself this time.”

    Less than a minute later, one of my best friends, whom I hadn’t spoken to in months, who did not know I was struggling, woke up out of a dead sleep, in a panic, and called me. The first words out of her mouth were “Galexy, whats wrong?” She saved my life.

  4. I almost hung myself and I just thought about how traumatized the person who would find me would be. And I didn’t think I could do that to them. So I stopped myself and then drove to the hospital.

  5. An unexpected phone call from my best friend. I realized after setting the knife down and chatting with her about everything and nothing that it was worth trying for one more day. It’s now almost 20 years later and I am so happy with my current life.

  6. The thought of my unborn son growing up without a father, let alone a father who killed himself before ever meeting him. I don’t value my life much, but I refused to let him grow up without a father.

  7. My father commited suicide when i was 8 years old, and it really messed me up, ive had depression for a long time, but what stops me is knowing my friends and mom would essentially have to go through what i went through. I refuse to kill myself because i know how it will impact the lives of those who care about me. I may not want to live sometimes but i wont end it myself.

  8. Being depressed and filled with self hatred even in what I thought were my final moments, I realized I should just keep living until my organs fail and brutally murder me, and try my best to make the most out of the one life I have.

  9. I had just bought a tuba after graduating college (sometime in June). I just didnt want that tuba sitting alone in the basement untouched and unplayed.

    Ironically that was really the only things keeping me going at that point. Just that image of a lonely unplayed brand new tuba.

  10. 24M

    I actually attempted when I was 14. I took a whole bottle Cymbalta and ran from home. Everything just got to me that day. This was around 10:00 pm.

    I ran for about 2 miles and I got to a public park where I trudged to the top of the tallest hill. I sat down, put on what I thought would be my last YouTube video; then I started to doze off, I really thought those were the last seconds of the life I was given.

    I woke up 2 hrs later, my body spread out across the grass- it was completely dark. At first I actually thought I was in the afterlife but I felt the dew off the grass on my finger tips. I sat back up and got to my knees and started to get angry, I really just wanted to go. I began to pull out the grass, claw at the dirt and just started to finally cry.

    That’s when I started to feel the stomach pain that up until then I didn’t realize was there. I began to throw up, my body was rejecting the pills I drank up, and it hurt so much doing so. After 7 good chucks, I was exhausted, my body cold and aching, my eyes felt heavy, my legs didn’t want to move- so I just fell back to the ground looking up at the sky.

    The light pollution was very small that day, so I just stared at the sky, what was essentially space, the limitless field that our home (Earth) just casually floats in.

    That’s when it clicked.

    I thought how large our world was, and how very little my problems are compared to the complexity of what keeps everything in place in our universe. And for that balance to be able continue, as minuscule as it may be, me being alive, along with everyone else here, is the driving force for this balance to even exist. To support the life we have. In smaller context- I’m still alive because I still have some purpose that hasn’t been fulfilled yet. Another thought came; someone possibly out there, at this exact same moment has done the exact same thing what I just finished trying to do. Is one of us going to continue what we started while the other keeps going forward? So why can’t we both move forward?

    I got up from the ground and slowly marched back home. I was thinking to myself, “I need to at least get a couple of hrs of sleep before I have to get to school”. Surprisingly when I got home the front door was unlocked, like if life was trying to elude, “see you made it back- you need to keep going. Don’t give up”. I made my way to my bed, and tried to sleep.

    7 hrs later I was walking through the doors to my economics class in my IB curriculum highschool like nothing happened. I saw my friends laughing and talking about something while I took my seat which sat across the other side of the room from them. I just stared at them, at least they were smiling.

    I finally said, I’ll just keep this one to myself.

  11. “Your daughter loves you” and I stopped right then and there. I don’t know who said it to me, because it wasn’t me. But it was in my head. But it saved me. I don’t regret turning away from it. I love my daughter.

  12. Thinking of what it would do to my kids.

    Interestingly, it was an antidepressant that got me so depressed that I went from suicidal ideations to almost attempting it.

  13. I had two bunnies and the thought that they wouldn’t be taken care of terrified me more. They lived to the age of 10 and they were the only reason I’m still here. Think about and am grateful to them everyday.

  14. For a long time, I resented my family for caring. I hated that they were so selfish to want me to be around when all I wanted was to be gone. I feel like what keeps me from wanting to try it again is that I remember them crying. Oh, and I don’t want to go to a psychiatric hospital again.

  15. I stood withe the noose around my neck as a young teen and was actually pretty determined to end it.as far as I remember, it was the lack of a place to hang without getting caught too fast. I lived in a small town area with very few places to hide.
    I have suffered from depression most of my youth and fought my way out in my early twenties. A break up last year has really set me back in some old patterns…

  16. My divorce messed me up and had me constantly thinking about it for a while, but the thought of what it would do to my kids and parents was enough to keep me from ever following through. Thankfully life is much better now. Glad I lived to see it get better.

  17. The first was with a big kitchen knife. I remember holding it as I was standing in the basement. But I couldn’t figure out how the whole cutting wrist thing would work. However I was only 5 at the time so

    The other was when I was 20. My mom had died about 2 weeks before that, 5 days after that I found out I could not go back to college. I was told if I tried to move home into my mom’s old apartment, they would break the lease and kick my older sister out who was living there. I was broke, unemployed, no college, and homeless. My extended family didn’t give a damn – no one tried to contact me as I was living on the streets.

    Many night I would sit on the edge of a railway bridge. I found one pretty high up over a active rail line. There was a wall running on one side of the bridge the left a lip of the bridge hanging out but out of sight due to the wall. I spent many hours sitting there debating just leaning a little more forward to end it all.

    As I sat there singing songs to myself debating why did I want to keep going, I started to sing Social Distortion’s “Hour of Darkness” to myself. As I went over it I finally realized something. The family that treated me like cancer did so for no actions on my part. I never did anything that would earn such a response – no theft, fighting, heck never even said a bad word about anyone, I liked my extended family. I also had done fairly well – and I saw this was all out of my hands. These people never believed in me and never would and so I decided to say “Fuck You” to my family. Then I decided to add that to the rest of the world. I said to hell with it – I will live my life how I want. My success will be my revenge for all who have never believed in me.

  18. Had a horrible day at work, family all annoyed at me, I lost all my friends and lost all hope in one day. on my way home I stopped on the side of the service road and decided to run out in front of a incoming car but the reason holding me back was my family, my dad and mom have already dealt with so much over the years and I didn’t want to end my life and have them suffer. I’m there only “good” child left and I try so hard to impress them but no matter what I do isn’t enough. I recently found a good trade I’m interested in (mechanics) and I’m going to school for it but my parents still think I should go do diesel mechanics. You know it’s so hard for me to even do the smaller things in life. Even when I find my happy place it’s not good enough for other people. My own family isn’t supportive. My family is dysfunctional as hell and I have a big trust problem. I have just 1 person in my life that i trust everything with. And that’s my best friend Andrew. Id probably be gone rn if he wasn’t there for all the times I needed him

  19. The first time, I simply chickened out. I don’t know a better way to describe it than that.

    The second time, I was put in the psych ward to prevent me going through with it.

  20. I have not tried but I’ve been informed by a friend, who struggled with depression, that it was only the thought of his mother’s inevitable guilt and devastation that kept the urge at bay.

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