Prison staff, what’s the dumbest escape attempt you’ve ever seen?

Prison staff, what’s the dumbest escape attempt you’ve ever seen?

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  1. Had this one fella way back. Long time ago. Came to prison for murdering his wife and the prick she was with at the time. 2 life sentences. He’s never getting out. Now he’s a smart fucker too. A banker on the outside.

    Well the warden gets a whiff of this and before you know it, he’s laundering money and making the warden rich.

    19 years later we go through his cell while he’s in solitary for calling the warden ‘obtuse’. We find a hole behind a poster that he’s been digging the entire time. It was fascinating. I get in there and follow the trail through the pipes out to the river. Next day, he’s back in his cell and tries out his little escape attempt but once he got to the end of the pipe (5 football fields long), I was waiting there with my baton and I beat the living shit out of him. He died in the infirmary that night and the Warden gave me a raise.

  2. Not prison but three teens conspired to break out of the local juvenile detention facility. They got all the staff to play a basketball game far from the gate during rec time as a distraction, kicked them in the balls and ran for the gate. Of course, none of them could make it up the outdoor gate successfully and were caught.

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